...I'm serious. They must be doing crack in those offices. Rolling Stone magazine has released their 100 greatest guitar songs ever. I question some of their choices and things they left off of the list.

First of all I have to address the so-called #1 song. "Johnny B Goode"? Hello? I wholeheartedly agree that it needs to be in the Top 10, even the Top 5. But #1 - that's too much of a stretch for me. Hendrix's "Purple Haze" sits in second place to this song. That alone makes me shake my head in disbelief.

But what really gets me is this - how the heck does Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" end up in the Top 10 and Aerosmith doesn't show up on the list for the first time until #34. Like I said, they're smoking somethin' in those offices and it's not legal. Or good quality.

Now, I understand some things and I'm not some stupidhead that's going to insist that "Stairway to Heaven" belongs in the #1 slot. Believe me, that song is so overrated and many others deserve that honor. Of course it ended up in the Top 10, which I suppose is OK. But there are songs that didn't even make the list that should be there.

How about "Smoke on the Water" for one - that's a classic Deep Purple song with an elegant hot riff in there and it's nowhere on the list (and many many people commenting on other blogs and the original list on Rolling Stone's website are outraged that it's not on the list). John Mayer's "Gravity" made the list but what really should be there is "No Such Thing". Dire Straits makes the list twice - first at 34 with "Sultans of Swing" and then at 94 with "Money for Nothing". Methinks those two songs should be switched. Where's Chicago's "25 or 6 to 4"? No Chicago songs make the list (naturally, because it's Rolling Stone and they hate them apparently).

Where is *anything* by the Stone Temple Pilots? They're absent too, which I think is a crime. And no Joe Satriani either - where's "Surfing with the Alien" or "Always With Me, Always With You"?

Eric Clapton's "Cocaine"? Absent. Any solo Clapton at all? No. But we get Cream in #3 with "Crossroads" and 55 with "White Room" - again, two songs that I think the positions should be flipped. Oh and we get Clapton with the Yardbirds at 23 with "Over Under Sideways Down". His highest entry is on the top 10 with the Beatles' "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" (Oh yes, that was Clapton's guitar.) So the Guitar God shows up 4 times but not under his own name. Sad.

Pink Floyd made the list twice with "Money" and "Interstellar Overdrive". Now, tell me how a song that's driven by keyboards ("Money") makes the list and something with one of the best David Gilmour solos ("Comfortably Numb") doesn't? How?

Oh right, we're talking about Rolling Stone. They're the only ones who think they're still relevant anymore in the music industry. The only thing they seem to have influence over is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominations and not the rest of the music industry. But then there really isn't a magazine that has music influence anymore and if someone shouts 'Blender' in my comments I'll have to ban them from posting ever again. I've already discounted 'Blender' a couple of years ago when they posted what they thought were the worst rock songs of all time.

Rolling Stone didn't post this list to tell us something we didn't already know. They gave us this list to sell magazines. To up circulation. To breed controversy and get them talked about again. You know what? It's working. But in a bad way because people aren't going to buy the issue to see the list when they can read it online. Bloggers (like me) are having a field day saying how irrelevant Rolling Stone is now and how wrong the list is.

There are so many things wrong with this list besides the omissions and the outright crazy that "Johnny B Goode" is the most classic, the absolute best, guitar song of all time. It certainly stands on it's own, and no offense to Chuck Berry, but it's not the best. I don't know what should be the best, but that's not it...

...but then again, I don't buy into a list that puts "Rock Around The Clock" between "Back in Black" (AC/DC) and "Keep Yourself Alive" (Queen).