...to any party, and that includes life. The Karma train does indeed roll around from time to time and pay back those that weren't very nice, or brought nasty stuff to the party.

No, I'm not talking about the folks who brought bean dip with mold on it to the party. I'm talking about the people who engage in reprehensible or malicious behavior against other people without a second thought as to who it's going to hurt because they're only thinking of themselves.

I used to know someone who was constantly negative and down on herself. She would go through positive periods of time, and then fall right back into the negative because something would happen that she wouldn't look for the good stuff in, and she'd cry "oppressed". I'm not sure if she was waiting for something magical to happen, but it's pretty clear that nothing is going to happen if you sit and wait for it - especially when you figure nothing ever will happen. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. You bring a negative attitude to the table, and you'll rarely get anything positive from it.

She was looking for a new job last I heard, but I suspect that she's probably given up because the right one just hasn't landed in her lap, or she figures she's going to be stuck with the one she has forever and on. That certainly sounds like the pattern she would fall into - you get what you bring, and if you bring a negative attitude, you're not likely to get anything positive from it. I hope that her attitude has changed - that she's looking on the bright side of life. But I know it's hard to break that cycle when you've been mired in it for so long...

Then there's the bad things that happen to good people, but again, you get what you bring...

Currently DH and I have a friend who is going through a bitter and nasty divorce situation. I won't go into the details of why this is happening, but will touch on a couple of the nasty spots that have occurred as a result, and I won't even go through much of that, either. Let's just say that he really doesn't deserve the hell that his soon-to-be ex-wife has been putting him through.

I don't think it would be so bad if they didn't have little kids. What's heart- and gut-wrenching is the fact that he adores his kids, and they seem to be her pretty little pawns in this whole situation.

It looks like she is going to have custody of them, and he gets visitation. She's going to move somewhere that's about an hour and a half (if traffic is good and clear) north of here, and he's really going to be challenged to make those mid-week dinner visits work. Using the sometimes nasty and malicious mind that I have, I suspect that if he's 10 seconds late on the clock for showing up she'll refuse to let him take the kids, and if he's 10 seconds late dropping them off, the police and the lawyer will be called.

He has said that she's gloating about the decision to let her have physical custody - it's just something in her voice. I've heard her voice before - I bet it's not gloating, but pure glee instead. Evil, I say.

The latest salvo is that she's filing for a restraining order against him, claiming that he's threatened her life. In this state, if that is proven false, she will face jail time.

So, I'm hoping that the Karma Train pulls into the station shortly and dumps on her. I know - that's not a nice thing to be thinking, and I will probably pay for that statement in some small way too when I least expect it. I was brought up in a household where revenge and bitterness seemed to reign supreme. If I still lived at home I would hate to hear what my mother would say about this whole situation - it would be discussed for at least two weeks, if not more. I didn't learn at home to "turn the other cheek"; I learned that in Catholic school. At home, I learned to fight back. That's probably where a great lot of my negativity, defensive attitude and cynical behavior came from.

I paid for that. I paid as dearly as a newly graduated high school student, college student, and new entry into the job market can. I got what I wasted three-fold, until I shaped up and started trying to let the things that others were imposing on me roll off my back. I brought helpfulness and happiness to the party whenever I could. After a few years, the Karma Train rolled back into my station and I've been getting my good deeds back three-fold ever since. It all ties back to that "Because Nice Matters" thing I was talking about a while back... it *does* matter.

Good thing I changed my attitude. I would hate to see what I would be bringing upon myself if I hadn't.

I haven't stopped being nice, and I still get the good things back. I have slowed the cycle of negative energy that I used to carry around, and I'm not as cynical as I used to be. I escaped that, and set my own deeds into motion. I'm definitely getting what I bring to the party...

...I just wonder when our friend's ex-wife will get the moldy bean dip.

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I apologize for interrupting your usual light-hearted Friday blog entry by posting the above, but it needed to be said. I will be thinking all the good thoughts I can for our friend, but more for those adorable kids of his because they are the ones who truly are going to suffer in all of this.

Have a nice safe weekend.