Ever hear the old adage "If it ain't broke, don't fix it?" Well, it has an inspired twin: "If it ain't broke, break it!"

The first one has been around for ages for those folks who hate change in any and all forms. The second one has been around since the early 90s for those folks who want to institute change in those organizations that lie stagnant or haven't changed thier operating paradigms in years upon years.

I'm a victim of the second. Well, maybe victim is too strong a word. But I can't find a better one.

This weekend they migrated my email from MS Outlook to Lotus Notes. I've been working with it for 2 1/2 hours so far, and I don't think I like it. However, I have to be an evangelist for it, be a sane resource for people who migrate to it on 11/21, and give it at least 60 days before I crucify it.

I started building the crucifix within 30 minutes of starting to use it. Some evangelist I am. *smiles wryly* Of course, now I understand the attitude of those who migrated before me. And I, like them, cannot wait for the rest of the company to move to it and join me in the 10th circle of hell. Misery does indeed adore company.

Here's a little insight into what I've been dealing with... I've been tempted to throw my beloved NetFlix coffee mug at the nearest wall... I've thought about gathering all the chocolate that I have at my desk, melting it down in the nearest microwave oven and taking it over to the Lotus servers and pouring it in. Then coating the whole chocolate mess with fire ants so that the admins get bitten lots and lots of times.

A friend of mine, commiserating over IM, suggested something even more brilliant - candle wax. When the server overheats, the wax will liquefy and will easily burn curious problem-solving fingers... and since it's clear, people won't know what the heck is going on. I didn't ask the details of how my friend knows this, but she mentioned her love for candles and a 386 that was vented from the top. *winces* I suspect that was a painful personal lesson. But it would be a good piece of torture for the email server.

But it's really not all that bad. I've figured out most of the things that I need to. And I'll have to recreate a whole bunch of other things - like folders and my personal address book. But I can't figure out how to get HTML formatting back into the emails that I receive, even though my preferences state that I want to receive email in the format the sender has. And I can't read a table that's sent from Excel embedded in the email - which really has me in fits at the moment.

So, I'm considering the candle wax again and a quiet black operation... large white unscented candles... You'd get that nice acrid metallic burnt computer smell, with a waxy undertone...

... with one vanilla candle thrown in just for flavor.