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Wednesday, September 24, 2008
PETA Is At It Again... know, sometimes these blog topics just drop into your lap without even trying.

This is one of those times. Remember yesterday when I was complaining that I was distracted? Well, I achieved some temporary clarity once I realized what my problem was, but I figured that I still wasn't going to blog much.

Then this just drops into my lap this morning while listening to the radio and fighting to open my eyes. PETA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, but sometimes known as Pains In The Ass - have decided that they have a new target.

Ice cream. That's right. And what's wrong with ice cream you ask? It has cow's milk in it. They think the cow's milk should be replaced. But not with the normal thing you would think of - soy milk. They think that the cow's milk should be replaced with human breast milk.

No joke. Apparently this move would help humans and cows. Before you ask what drugs these people are on, realize that they were inspired by a Swiss restaurateur who going to replace 75% of the cow's milk he uses in his menu with human breast milk. Now ask what drugs he *and* PETA are on.

I know "breast is best" and all that, but replacing cow's milk with mommy milk is just a little out there. And Ben & Jerry's, that bastion of organic yumminess, labels their ice cream hormone free. If they replace it with breast milk, they can't say that - the body naturally produces human growth hormones (HGH) and that would be all over the ice cream which would have quite a few people protesting. And the packaging costs would probably be through the roof replacing all of the existing packaging because there are cows on them.

So, I guess they would have to redesign and have breasts all over them. That might work in increasing the male demographic who eats ice cream. Besides, I think the fat to liquid content of mother's milk is different than that of cows - they would have to tinker with the formula and that's expensive too but they might be able to do it with enough sugar and butter added in.

Then think of the flavor names. I don't know about you, but I really don't think Mammary Marshmallow would be a hit.

PETA thinks that the milk from the cow would be better served going where it belongs - into the baby cow it's meant for. Ben & Jerry's made a great volley back by saying that "mother's milk is best used for her child". Well, someone didn't fumble that football thankfully.

The other side of the coin is that now people can get up in arms that Ben & Jerry's is discriminating against women because they won't use breast milk. I think they're looking out for the safety of the population. We don't know what kind of screening that the breast milk for the Swiss restaurant is going to get, do we? We just know that the restaurant owner is going to buy the milk off lactating mothers. Will they be screened for cancer? HIV? Alcohol and medications (which can be passed through the milk)?

That's besides the point - I think PETA has really gone off the rails this time. While they extol the virtues of breast milk, and cite Dr. Benjamin's Spock's words about feeding children cow's milk (which could lead to a laundry list of issues including diabetes and obesity) they neglect to do the research on the effectiveness of feeding breast milk to an adult. While it's a magic formula for babies, I think feeding it to adults isn't going to be as effective... pass the Chubby Hubby before it becomes Chubby Bubby.