...Really. It Will. Peanut butter is going to save the world from the Cow Farts. (yes, folks, first it was MooPoo and now it's Cow Farts)

You see, according to something that I read recently in Sierra magazine, cow "emissions" account for about 28% of greenhouse gases. You know, those things that are destroying the ozone and leading to Global Warming.

Yes, Cow Farts are destroying the world. And you can save it. Stop eating meat and make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches instead because then we'd have all this free land that we could raise peanuts on instead of using those resources for cows. Now, PB&J is great comfort food for me. Or PB&H (honey, instead of jelly when I'm out of apricot jelly) works too. But neither can replace, at least for me, the joy of eating a juicy well prepared burger. I like red meat. If someone told me that all the world's nations had decided that they were going to kill all the cows in order to save the world, I'd cry long and hard. And I'd be a raving maniac in about 3 weeks because I wouldn't have red meat.

No, don't try and tell me that after a couple of weeks I wouldn't miss it. I once eschewed red meat from my diet - when I was a sophomore in college. Week 1 was easy. Week 2 was ok. Week 3? That Time Of Month arrived and it wasn't pretty as I was ready to eat a whole cow by that point and was impossible to live with for the whining. I gave in on Day 24 because someone threatened to force feed me a Big Mac. I found a local steak house and ate a London broil instead.

We could stop eating chickens too, even though they account for a much smaller contribution to the carbon footprint. Oh yes, this is all about the footprint and how you can be more "green". And you want to be more green right? Well, there's always body paint. Oh wait, not *that* sort of green.

Ok, you want to be more "green" and save the world. And demanding less cow will be the way to do it but you hate PB&J. Oh disbelievers, yes there are people who hate PB&J and I ask that you do not throw MooPoo at them. The people behind the peanut butter initiative to save the world have alternate suggestions: You could eat falafel or black bean soup, a bean burrito or vegetarian chili. The PB&J people even have breakdowns on how each of these alternatives would help save the environment.

Yes, I know. Cow emissions would go down with less cows but people emissions would go up if we start eating all those beans. It's a trade off. Keep the cows in the fields where the smell is concentrated, or stink up your own space. But you don't produce as many "emissions" as a cow does, at least I hope you don't, so the impact on the environment is lessened considerably. That is, unless people stop spending time with you and you decide to "impact" your "environment" by trashing the house in frustration.

So, maybe some of us need to go back to our roots - to Sesame Street with Grover and the Amazing Mumford and find the magic in those peanut butter sandwiches. There are a lot of people who like PB&J and would be willing to eat one or two here and there in order to save the environment. Even I would, but not for today's dinner. Tonight, I'm eating steak and my carbon footprint will just stay the same size for one more day...

...I apologize for the extra Cow Farts and MooPoo because of my excess.

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... yes, thanks again to DH for coining the phrase MooPoo and reminding me of it for this entry...