...I've decided that sometimes it's absolutely necessary to be rude. In a polite way.

Yesterday I was walking down the hall when someone new to the company asked for a moment of my time to further clarify an email that I'd just sent. So we walked over to my desk and I opened up a bunch of applications and showed him what was necessary. It was accuracy. Paying attention to the materials that we have on hand and making sure that counts were as perfect as possible because eventually finance gets their hands on these numbers, and if they're wrong it just adds more time to everyone's schedules that we have to track back the mistakes.

He understood this - I would expect that since he's been a materials handler in prior positions. But then his Blackberry (a portable email device for those who aren't familiar) vibrates and he pulls it out of the cradle on his hip and starts twirling the thumb wheel. I stare at this for a moment, and then put a hand up and said "um, no - please don't do that now."

Clearly, I startled him. And he flushed and flustered slightly as if caught in the act, and explained that he had a meeting with someone else that I'd just been talking with when he came up and asked for my time. I told him that the other person probably knew that we're talking and will forgive him being a couple of minutes late considering the topic matter is something both I and this other individual are responsible for.

Now... we concluded our business and he was about to go on his way when I stopped him to apologize for pointing out the Blackberry issue but explained that it was a pet peeve. He let me know that it's new to him and he's just getting used to it and then went on his way. I was left with a not-great impression - this is just going to become part of the makeup.

And it's part of the makeup of quite a few members of my team - they have Crackberries (that's what many here in Silly.com Valley are calling them) and when they vibrate or beep, out they come, thumbs in position to wheel through the emails and respond to them. I see it in staff meetings all the time. Cell phones ringing and people answering them too, while you're talking to them.

Remember the ex-boss from hell? I knew you would. He used to answer his cell phone all the time when we were having a staff meeting or a 1/1 status meeting. Drove me nuts. Near the end of my time working for him, and definitely *after* I stopped working for him, I would simply gather my things and walk out of the meeting room or the office we were in if he answered his cell phone and left the room to take it. Usually he'd find me back in my office and I let him know that his phone call was clearly more important than what we were talking about, so I figured we'd reschedule when it was more convenient. He'd do this to his own boss, which I found completely unacceptable.

I enter a staff meeting, and make a rather obvious show of turning down my ringer on my cell phone to *silent*. If someone's going to call me during that meeting, I'll see it because I'll unclip my phone and put it next to my planner. The display will light up, and I'll check to see who it is. And unless it's my children's school, it will go to voicemail and I'll pick up the message later. I think DH knows my schedule well enough at work that if he needed to call me during a staff meeting, he'd probably ring my cell phone twice in a row, and *that* would get my attention.

It's not just at work that I see this either. I see it at my child's school when someone is talking with a teacher, and their cell phone rings and they answer it instead of continuing to devote time to what the teacher has to say. I see it at the grocery store while people are checking out and not giving their attention to the cashier, or at the deli counter. It's really present at restaurants when I see someone having dinner and a phone goes off and people start digging for thier phones. We've become such a plugged in society that everyone seems to have forgotten thier manners.

Well, I know it may be rude, but I'm going to do it anyway - if you're with me and you pick up your cell phone without saying excuse me when you check the display to see who it is, or apologize and say you need to take that call, I *will* (if at all possible) walk away and let you find me later when I've finally made it to the top of the priority list. I've learned that you give your attention to the person that you're talking with, and not let other distractions interfere. I know I'm guilty of it too - when a vendor calls me I tend to turn on my headset and continue working on whatever it was that I was working on. But more of my attention is on the caller than on what I'm working on. Still, it's a distraction. But where do you draw the line between a distraction and multitasking? Just a little something to think about there.

So, consider this your warning. If you're with me and your cell phone unexpectedly rings and you don't say excuse me and just answer the call, don't expect me to sit there and wait for you....

...I, too, will have better, more important things to do.