...recently my Curves had a purse party. You know the one - all the fashion knockoff purses for rock bottom prices? Well, while we're working the circuit there's all the purses in the middle for us to look at while we use the machines.

There's one lady who almost always buys one or two purses every time we have one of these things at Curves - oh yes, this is a regular event. And they regularly try and get me to buy a purse. You have to understand - I'm 34, and I've probably owned 5 purses in my whole life. And I still have 3 of them. And that includes my black velvet clutch that I only use when going out somewhere fancy.

What the heck is a purse to most women, anyway? My current purse is about 5 inches square, and 2 inches wide. Simple lines, nothing flashy about it, and it's black. It's got a snap over pocket where I can stash my cell phone, and it's got a zipper pocket on the outside that folds out to be my wallet. That's it. It's small, and it's a got a nice long strap (so that it hangs by my hips, and I can keep my hand on it) and it can easily be shoved into the carryall that I use for it and my planner at work.

The way it seems during these purse parties though - you're a girl, you get a purse. So.... what's wrong with me then? I look at purse shopping and shoe shopping the same way: it's something you have to do once in a while, but you should find something that's going to last a long time and serve you well in terms of versatility. That way you don't have to do it all the time.

Are they just to carry our stuff? One lady there was looking for a purse, found one, held it up and said "It's Perfect! Now I have something bigger to lose all the things I already can't find in my purse." I looked at her and laughed and realized the truth of her statement. And what's the point of having something so big that you can't find everything? Call me anal, but I *love* pockets in things that have specific uses.

Purses, most often, are fashion statements. I know some women who buy a new purse every fall and every spring just to keep up with the current fashion style - after all, it would be horrid to be out of style, right? As my DH said, which would you choose now - a burlap sack or a leather and fabric contraption that's pretty. I'd go pretty, sure... as long as it was functional. If the burlap sack served me better, then I'd probably go that route instead. And we all know you pay for fashion - especially when you're dealing with names like Coach, Dooney and Burke, Gucci...

But some of these purses look downright uncomfortable. Clutches that sit right under your armpit? And basically skew your arm about 10 inches away from your body at an unnatural angle? That's supposed to be fashionable and functional? Ugh. I'll pass. Give me a nice long adjustable strap - with a nice buckle, like a belt. I can work with that.

Two handled bags that you end up carrying a la carpetbag? I'll pass on that too. Just give me a single strap. Two just means that much more pressure on your arm or hand.

Bags that look like you could go away on an overnight trip with them? They serve thier purpose, but honestly, if I'm going to spend overnight somewhere, I'd better be bringing something better than my purse from the bar with the extra pair of undies and a toothbrush safely tucked inside.

So, why *do* we carry purses? Couldn't we get away with stashing a chapstick in our pocket along with a single leather id case that's got our credit cards and money? Or maybe a planner with a wallet insert, if we need to stash some papers or something? But no, we've got a drugstore makeup counter in our purses (we being the collective female gender, not just the readers of this blog), and an entertainment center in some cases (with iPods, and Palms, and crossword puzzle books, and any other assorted stuff). And extra diapers for the baby, if we have a baby... unless you also carry a diaper bag.

*sigh*

I did find a lovely purse at the party. It was a Gucci knockoff and was a messenger style bag, with an overflap. I *LOVED* it. Unfortunately, the strap was too short - it would have put the top of the bag just above my waist (at the bottom of the boob line, for better clarification), and I just couldn't work with that. I'd rather it be a longer strap that allowed me to have access to the bag without taking it off my shoulder - yes I'm one of those who can dig in her bag while it's on her shoulder - I can even do that with my little 5x5 bag.

See? I *am* a girl at times. I was bummed that I couldn't get this lovely (and seemingly well made) knockoff for $30 because it didn't fit with my style of bag. But I don't need a new bag, mine is perfectly suitable...

...even if it's 4 years old and way out of season.