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Monday, February 28, 2005
It's Reality... and I Reject It!

… Today’s blog has been written in conjunction with a bunch of other bloggers who are all going to discuss rejecting reality. Those who have decided to join in today are listed at the end of this entry.

I reject your reality and substitute my own.
~Adam Savage, 'Mythbusters'~

That seems to be the theme this month in a lot of differing circles – to reject the reality that they have been given and substitute their own. Some would say that they're living in their own fantasy land, or asking what color is the sky in their universe; I prefer rejecting reality. I’ve seen it everywhere, and it seems to be most present in months that have 28 (or 29) days. Then again, maybe it’s my perspective that’s screwed up, which could be entirely possible.

Because of that possibility, I've decided to reject the reality I have as it stands and substitute another one - a happier, less conflicting one.

Frist, however, let’s explore what my perception of reality for this past February was for a few paragraphs…

I entered the month of February with a slight bit of anxiousness, as it seems every February seems to bring people into a state of oversensitivity and outright indignation. This February was no different, but the way it happened changed slightly. It seemed that things were going on more off the BBs (which makes the admins/board owners happy) but the darkness trickled back into the communities, like an insidious mold darkening the corners of the bathrooms (which makes the admins/board owners unhappy).

Like every February, there was a personal attack or two, and it seemed that a single individual was at the center of it all. Actually, it was a couple of individuals – one being attacked, and one doing the attacking. Some folks seemed to write it off as the usual February madness. Some folks wrote it off to the attacker being slightly cracked, in their opinion. Others simply ignored it – I think these were the smart people as ignorance is bliss and bliss is something that’s been missing for the last few Februaries and I think I should grab some of that while I'm thinking about it.

As the month progressed, whispers of other things traveled around until suddenly we find ourselves here at the end of the month wishing that it had never happened. Strong personalities – and I don’t mean that in the negative sense at all – have left the stitching community forever (which is what they are promising, but I fervently hope that they return). That’s normal for a February, some would think, but these are people who have been around a good long time, and don’t deserve the treatment that they have received. Come to think of it, no one deserved the treatment that they have received when blowups occur. They never do.

Everyone has their own perception of how life should be, and some of them are just plain cracked. Some will read whatever they want into something, no matter what is said, or how it is said. Others are oversensitive to the point where they’ll cry if you spell their name wrong and accuse you of attacking them over it. Still others decide to be “helpful” and point and say “hey, she said something bad about you” and proceed to point the whole world in that direction as well when they’re either just trying to cause trouble or they don’t know what they’re talking about in the first place. And then there are those who, no matter what they say, can’t keep their size 9’s out of their mouths when they’re trying to settle people down (that would be my own size 9’s and my own mouth, before you start jumping to conclusions, thank you very much.)

It’s a month filled with contradictions, misunderstandings, and general crap. And I’m tired of it. But I can’t sit and whine and moan as that accomplishes nothing. Therefore I, along with a few others, have been compelled to do something about it. A couple of weeks ago I seriously considered shutting my BB down for the remainder of the month, and then I considered limiting the number of posts for everyone to 8 (don’t ask why 8, I just pulled that number out of thin air at the time). Then I realized that those actions will solve nothing other than to alienate people, leave them without a calm home to run to, and generally add to the feeling of anxiousness and angst. The problem isn’t on my BB – it’s what’s happened on other BBs and off board. It’s just people in general – EVERYONE has been affected by some special brand of Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder that is resident only on the BBs and drives people away, like the folks mentioned before. We’ve probably lost a few others who have slowly faded into the background and we don’t quite realize they’re gone yet. We almost had a board owner give it all up in favor of never traveling online again - I’m talking about me here folks, so don’t jump to panicked incorrect conclusions. Now there’s a thought.

Panicked incorrect conclusions – the month has been filled with them from all sides. And I'm taking a flamethrower to it all, some heavy explosives, and then pouring a bottle of hydroflouric acid over the remains so that the ruins all melt away... *poof*

And so, like a few others have done this month (and some fellow bloggers are doing today, throughout the day), I’m going to reject reality and substitute my own. I’m going to forget that Feb 2005 even happened in the form that it happened– even if good things happened during the month. Sorry, but sometimes you have to throw out the baby with the bathwater… And next year, you ask? How do we stem off what happens next year? Well, we cancel the month of February. Yup. Cancel it. Forget it exists. No birthdays, no Valentine’s Day, no Mardi Gras, no beginning of Lent or torturing oneself about what to give up, and no mass strife and angst on the boards. We cancel it all. Rename the month, become a hermit, close all the BBs down for the month or severely limit posting. Doesn’t matter – just cancel the month. Forget it exists. That way we can move from a smooth January where we’re still recovering from the holidays into a nice calm March where we’re… well, normally we’re recovering from February, but that won’t be an issue anymore!

Of course, then there’s still the matter of those pesky 28 (or 29) days that sit between the two months and closing down the BBs really wouldn’t solve it (as we’ve learned). We can do one of two things with those extra days – we can reclaim them as part of the other months, or we can leave them where they are and call them a “Reality Check” month. A sanity check, if you will. No jumping to conclusions, no being bitter about *anything*, no getting one’s panties in a wad.

I rather like that idea, and as a board owner who runs a nice community (that’s my own opinion) and wants it to stay that way, I want to embrace this idea!

Next year, the set of days formerly known as February will be renamed something like Happyary, or AngstlessMonth, and are going to be filled with happiness for everyone. There will be no strife on the BBs, no heated debates that get out of hand or degenerate into personal attacks, nor will there be people who are leaving due to someone making an incorrect assumption about anything. There will be no negativity. There will be no dramatic swan songs (or quiet ones, for that matter). There will be no in-fighting, hate-mail, or sniping at each other. All conversations of a serious nature will be filled with civility and agreement to see a middle ground. There will be no closed-mindedness, or telling someone to stay out of a conversation because they couldn’t possibly know what they’re talking about.

Everyone will be accepting of everyone else's opinions, no matter what they are.

My kids will be so well-behaved that they won’t raise their voices for anything except joyous song! DH will tell me he loves me every single day without worrying that he’s cheapening the words by saying them out loud so frequently. Work will be perfect because no one will demand anything of my time, and I’ll get all the input that I regularly request without anyone stressing over it. The days will flow peacefully without so much as a blip on the blood pressure scale. Headaches will cease to happen, and nary a cold germ will be in sight. No one would suffer from any health issues at all. My boss will tell me to go home early (around 10am) every single day.

Everyone will be happy, and all will be peaceful. Nashville releases will come out and they will all be beautiful and every LNS will have them on sale. Free scissors will come with every order. Oh wait, I’m wandering into fantasyland there. But then, FantasyLand is where some people live in full-time…

…and wouldn’t that be a nice place to be next February 1?

Please visit the others who are rejecting reality and see what they have to say today (they will publish throughout the day, if they aren't up at the time you're reading this entry):
Annette and her Acreage
Belinda and her Demented Views
Kirsten and her Bumpy Mind
Margaret and her Meanderings
Suzemo and her Woozles
Terri and her Threaded Needles
Sher and her Pieces
Jill and her Thoughts
Gosia and her Route
Stasha and What She Knows

Are you rejecting reality too? Let me know, and I'll add you to the list.