site stats WhizGidget Wonders...
Monday, February 21, 2005
Clears throat...

...Ahem. taps the mike to make sure she can be heard far and wide

It has come to my attention that there is some strife occurring around the stitching communities, and I'm not involved in it. That's a first. For once, my name isn't being dragged through the muck or being pointed at as the first cause (or end all be all reason) for something.

To summarize, someone vented in their blog - a perfectly normal and expected occurrence. We *all* vent in our blogs at one time or another. Someone else said "Oh Look! I know *exactly* who she's talking about..." and started pointing people to the blog. Someone else got ahold of that and thought it was them and vented in their blog. Then all was found out and the second person ate humble pie...

This would all have been avoided if one simple thing had happened. But I'll get to that later.

Normally all of this happening wouldn't be a problem for me, but unfortunately, it is a problem for me. You see, a couple of someones that I consider very wonderful people has a small misunderstanding. They've not quite patched it all up between themselves now (don't quote me, I only have partial stories here), but there is a third element involved.

I hate third elements. I despise third elements. This third element doesn't seem to have a name, but apparently is a member of a community that I own and manage. Indirectly that makes it my responsibility. Realistically, I know it's not because this person (or persons) are acting on their own as if they're some sort of board police. That's not to say that there has been direct communication, but that's the impression that I've been given. This completely and totally burns my butt. Make no mistake folks... I am completely pissed off now, and that's not really a condition that you want me in.

I'm going to address the fuckin' cretin that seems to think that they speak for me, The Wagon, and the members of that board: Get Lost. Pack your bags and find some other viper pit to hang out in. GROW THE FUCK UP. Hell, tell me your username so that I can ban you to be sure that you can never view the board again to cause trouble for the nice people who hang out there.

A close friend told me a little bit back that she finds it highly ironic that the nicest and safest board (in her opinion) of the stitching community was started and maintained by the one person that people wanted to lynch not 8 short months ago. Now that nice and safe place isn't that way for one person. And if it isn't safe for one, then it certainly could be on that path for others. Especially if that one lets the unnamed creeps win.

I don't want that. The Wagon is the one place that I hang out with any regularity (and lurk at some others with random posts), and I know that that is the case for many others. The problem is with the petty people who need to feed their egos by pointing at someone and saying "Hey, they said something about someone else in their blog, and I *KNOW* exactly who they're talking about without naming any names, and I think I'm going to tell everyone about it." Like what just happened.

There's a fundamental problem, however, with all of this. No one can possibly *know* who or what someone else is talking about unless they've talked with that first individual directly. Unfortunately, again, that also did not happen in this case.

---Critical Interruption---
I should probably say now that I'm not throwing criticism towards the individual who mistakenly thought the blog was about her. I'm throwing criticism at the individual who *thinks* they *know* who the blog was about and was pointing people from all over creation to the first person's vent. *THAT* is the person that I'm upset with, and unfortunately I don't have a name to put with that person. If I did, then this blog wouldn't have been written and an entirely different chain of events would be occurring.
---End of interruption---

Know why it didn't happen? BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENS! Shiiii-eeeeze....I cannot believe, in a group of perfectly grown-up women (and men), that so many of them have such horrid ego issues that they need to point fingers and laugh and so all manners of childish behavior to make someone else feel unloved and unworthy and unwelcome. Or they fly off the handle thinking something is about them - when it's not. Nor do people ever check their facts. All of this could have been easily avoided if someone had bothered to check their facts - that is to say, if someone had just contacted the original writer and asked her what she was talking about. They would have found out that it wasn't ANYONE in the stitching community, nor was it anyone that they probably even remotely knew. But, that wasn't the point this time, I suspect.

This time they were probably attempting to "cleanse" the community of someone that they don't feel is needed or welcome. Um, hate to tell you people, but I don't think that that's anyone's right or responsibility when it comes to an internet community. Now, if you're someone who openly attacks individuals for almost no reason, or sends unwarranted (and unstable) hate mail to someone, then I think *I* (as owner of The Wagon) could make the decision to ban you, and I doubt anyone would argue with it. They may not agree with it, and they may never say anything about it to me, but they won't argue with it.

Know why? Because some people seem to think that I have the reputation of a ball-busting bitch, and others would just be afraid that I would ban *them* for arguing. That's another thing - if you've got an issue with *me* then fuckin' tell me. Don't go saying "Oh WG, you're absolutely right, no problemo, etc, etc" and then snark at me behind my back. Believe me, it's much worse for you in the end, simply because these things eventually make their way back 'round to the original person and it's worse for you in the end because I have a really good memory (and I keep email and such FOREVER). Plainly, if the I had to ban someone for being bad in the sandbox, I can just point to the community guidelines that I set up a couple of short weeks ago - rules that came about because an individual that I hold in high regard (the same one who vented in her blog) was attacked for no reason. Those rules weren't a "look out, she's coming" - they were a "I'm tired of the damn personal attacks and my community doesn't know the rules by which I've run the board for two years, and it's long overdue that I put them up for the world to see."

By the way, since when is what someone writes in their blog as a personal vent to get something off their chest become everyone's business? Yes, I know - don't write on the 'net what you don't want published on the front page of the local paper (or the national paper), but for criminy's sake people - someone writes in a blog and that's their personal thoughts. It's what they do to get it off their chest. It's a rant, it's a vent. And that's where it should end! After all, not everything in the world is about YOU, and I mean the general collective "you".

I just don't get it people. Am I stupid or something? What's the damn point about trying to purposely cross wires and get people pissed off at each other? What's the damn point about stirring crap up and tearing communities asunder? Is it some ego thing? Is it that someone just has absolutely no control in their personal lives that they feel they have to exert some control online and wreak havoc?

What is it about a bunch of cross-stitchers needing to be so snippish and backbiting? Are y'all just trying to bash the long-held idea that cross-stitch is just for grandmas and spinster aunts? I think that's being accomplished by the simple fact that it's being done by all manners of individuals.

Whatever it is, it has to stop, and STOP NOW! I'm not fooling myself - I know whomever is reading this is having a right good laugh that they've stirred me up like this, and that they really don't give a flying fuck about anything I've written because they're enjoying their little game.

But I want this known now - I'm tired of everyone assuming that someone is talking about *them* or that they *know* what is being discussed. The rule that everyone seems to have forgotten, other than the Golden Rule, is what happens when you assume things - you make an ass out of u and me. Everyone, please - if you read something or hear of something and you think it's about you, just ASK quietly and privately before you fly off the handle or start pointing fingers or gossiping with a friend about theories as to who it might be. It might just save a lot of headache further down the line - it would have saved a lot of headache and heartache in the past...

...that and humble pie really doesn't taste all that great. Trust me on that one.

By the way, if you're curious and think that this is about you - don't get your panties in a wad and talk to me about it. I really don't need this entry to spark a whole 'nother set of "She's talking about you" crap....