site stats WhizGidget Wonders...
Thursday, October 14, 2004
For Dummies....

... so one day a Woozle Woman and I were having a small discussion about various matters in the world, when I noticed that off to the side of my Yahoo page was something about the 'Sex for Dummies' book.

That started me thinking (and conversing, but I won't include the conversation here - just the train of thought that sprung from it)...

One day you find yourself in a relationship and either you think (or someone comments) that you need a little help in the bedroom. In looking for a reference book, you wander across 'Sex for Dummies' and figure that this is the book for you. So you buy it and learn all that you need to know but were afraid to ask, right? You also pick up 'Fertility for Dummies' because you want your current situation to continue (either as not being a parent, or trying to be a parent - either way, the book is most likely very useful).

Of course, if you're trying to have a child, and the tips in 'Fertility for Dummies' isn't working out for you and you're really bothered by this, there's 'Depression for Dummies'. There's also 'Adoption for Dummies' if one wants to go that route.

If 'Fertility for Dummies' does indeed work for you, then the 2nd edition of 'Pregnancy for Dummies' is in print, just waiting for you to pick it up and add it to your personal library.

After the baby is born (regardless of whether you use 'Adoption for Dummies' or need 'Pregnancy for Dummies'), you might need a little more help, so there's 'Breastfeeding for Dummies' should you decide to go that route, and 'Parenting for Dummies'. Oh, and don't forget 'Raising Smart Kids for Dummies' Unless there's some recessive genes, if you're a 'dummy' then the chances of you raising a Smart Kid is going to be pretty low, I should think.

But you need to walk before you can run, so 'Potty Training for Dummies' is probably the right book for you. At this point you might want the 'Raising Smart Kids for Dummies' or 'Homeschooling for Dummies'. That's right... 'Homeschooling for Dummies'.

There's also 'Coaching for Dummies' if you don't think that your child has what it takes academically, and is more of the athletic persuasion.

Now, no matter what course your child is going to take, after you have kids sometimes marriages... falter a little. The honeymoon is over, and you're cleaning up messes... So there's always 'Rekindling Romance for Dummies' and 'Making Marriage Work for Dummies'.

Sometimes a book doesn't work for everyone, nor does counseling, and 'Divorce for Dummies' has to come into play. At this point the bookshelf has turned yellow and black with all these titles, but you're not done yet. You're going to need 'Single Parenting for Dummies' to help you raise that child that resulted from that very first book you bought.

Humans, by nature, don't like being alone. So, eventually you're going to go back into the dating pool, and lucky for you, there's 'Dating for Dummies'. You may use this book a lot, or you may throw it against the wall. But one day you'll meet that person with just the right spark for you and 'Relationships for Dummies' will become a very important book on the shelf - that way you can put your best foot forward immediately in your new adventures and not get it wrong again.

Of course, at some point if this is a serious relationship, you're going to need that dog eared copy of 'Sex for Dummies' again...

...and after everything you've been through you may want to read 'Migraines for Dummies' to figure out how to beg off for a few nights before you find 'Pregancy for Dummies' living on your bedside table again.

Absolutely no offence is intended to the wonderful authors of all of these books - the 'For Dummies' series is one of the best that I've ever encountered, although I have no experience with any of the titles mentioned above. My black and yellow shelf is limited to books of a more technical nature, such as SQL for Dummies, Access Programming for Dummies, Excel Data Analysis for Dummies and Excel VBA Programming for Dummies, just to name a few.