...dads.

The Stay at Home mom thing has been discussed to death. Let's talk about Stay at Home Dads.

Austin Murphy, a sports editor with Sports Illustrated, decided to tackle being a stay at home dad. I think the thing that pushed him over the edge to do this was that his wife was being mistaken for a single mom at their church because he was never home. He was constantly traveling for his job.

This was, of course, a point of contention for Murphy and his wife because she, too, is a journalist and could never take an away assignment because of his travel schedule. In the past, Murphy would take a couple of months off here and there and not take any travel assignments to be able to keep the peace. But that church thing was the last straw, supposedly, and he took 6 months off so that he could stay with the kids, and his wife could spend some time with her career.

He didn't think that it would be that hard. I think there are a lot of men out there who think the same thing... and a lot of women who work outside the home (and always have) who think that it's easy too.

After all, how hard could it be to be a stay at home parent, right? Try it sometime. You'll be surprised at how hard it really can be. Austin Murphy was surprised, that's for sure. He emerged from the experience with a new respect for all that his wife did - because it wasn't just shuttling the kids off to school and grocery shopping. He had to be a time management expert, a coupon clipper, a housekeeper, a chauffer, a decision-maker and many many other things all rolled together as one.

He was a very tired man at the end of it all.

I was a stay at home maternity-leave Mom. With an 18 month old and a newborn. I was thrilled to go back to work when my 3 months were up because I needed the rest.

Currently I have a stay at home hubby. I won't call him a stay at home Dad because the kids aren't home with him - they're in school full time, and he only has to shuttle them to school. I go to work early enough to be able to pick them up on the way home. That's not to say that I wouldn't appreciate it if DH picked them up on days that I go to Curves, but honestly, I don't mind because it's the alone time that I get with them before we get home and they disperse to do homework or those other goof-off things they want to do.

The big thing is that I don't nag the stay at home DH. He's only in that situation because of the current employement climate. I don't ask him when he's going to get a "real job" because that's what I've had my friends (male and female, alike) ask me. I tell them to ask him and the conversation usually ends right there. He's got a real job - he makes sure the house is still standing when I get home, and he manages the investment portfolio so that we can continue to pay the mortgage. He makes dinner. He mows the lawn - ok, so he did that *before* the unfortunate employment climate, but still... With the portfolio thing, that's a full time job within itself.

I know folks who have said that he has it made - I work, he stays at home... yeah riiiiight. We're not independantly wealthy, and my company doesn't pay *that* much for me to live in the lap of luxury, therefore, we don't have it made. "Having it made", for me, would entail being able to retire before I turn 33. Since that event is going to happen in less than 20 days, I'd have to say that we don't "have it made".

But we're doing pretty darn good, and I'll leave it at that.

I think DH appreciates the fact that I don't ask him how many resumes he's sent out, or when he's finally going to get a job. I know the climate is bad out there - I peeked outside my bubble myself to see what I could potentially land when things were rougher (and I still worked for the ex-boss). It wasn't pretty. So I ducked back in my little bubble and have stayed here happily crunching away at numbers and querying databases and solving problems as they arise.

Yes, I know I got off track of the stay at home Dad thing, but hey, these are valid arguments for any gender who stays at home.

How hard could it be? It's not easy - remembering a child's schedule for school and after school, coordinating playdates, making it to to grocery store, cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking for the family, folding the laundry... these all sound like things that could be done in a couple of days, sure, but there's always more laundry, and always more groceries to get, playdates and activities to shuttle around and coordinate, and a multitude of things that I've probably forgotten to mention. And if you have a child at home, even for part of the day, then you have the care, feeding and entertainment of such child to work with as well...

...and some people will still think that that's easy. They should try it sometime.