...and outside in, let's see which way the window spins. Today's musings will involve that most favorite of all TWBB topics: The fabled in-crowd. Part 1 of 2 because once I got started, I wrote a book, and I really don’t think y’all could make it through the whole thing in one sitting.

Lord help me now, because some well meaning individual is now going to ask about it on the TWBB, cite my blog as a source, and wreak havoc on the board. Great heartache and fighting and unrest has arisen as a result of bringing that topic up on the board, so heed that as your warning now. I highly recommend *not* discussing it unless you really want to stir things up.

Now that I’ve tempted those of you that hate me (but still read this) to create controversy on the board…

…why do I bother? Well, for one, this isn't the TWBB. For another, I seem to be at the heart of it all, so why shouldn't I discuss it, right? I touched on it in my blog last week, and it didn't come up, so it should be safe now, right?

Riiiiiight. So let's begin. But where do we begin?

The pursuit of the in-crowd
Somehow, in the evolution of the board from its early days on UltimateBB to now on EzBoard, the whispers grew to shouts that there was most definitely an in-crowd. Always being a curious one, I wanted to know who was in the "in-crowd" and see if I could find out what they know.

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Let this be a lesson to you: be careful what you wish for, as it someday may come true. You know the saying about Curiousity killing the Cat? Well, instead of Satisfaction bringing it back, the Cat got annhilated and the dead horse is regularly beaten for it's lack of efforts.

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At first I thought it was the moderators who were the in-crowd folks. They would have to be - after all, they would have regular conversation with Teresa, you would think. After talking with a few moderators early on in those days when I was trying to make friends with people that I liked and agreed with, I found that that was not the case. And the moderators didn't know who the "in-crowd" was either. So there shot that theory.

So then I thought it must be the people who visit something called "The Pub". That sort of made some sense because you had to contact one of two people to be able to get directions to the pub. That made me wonder for a while that maybe you had to be approved by one or another of these individuals to get the directions to this secret IRC room. That wasn't true either. Anyone could ask for the directions - the only reason it wasn't posted outright for everyone to see was because they had gotten some IRC trolls in the past who would come in repeatedly (even after being kicked) and, well, be less than polite. So, other than just emailing one or another of a couple of people who had volunteered to be the 'tech support' for anyone trying to make their way through IRC, there was no secret test that you have to pass, or any flaming hoops you had to jump through. You just had to want to visit and not be afraid or lazy to email the individuals who knew the way. So that wasn't the "in-crowd" either.

Then someone (not me) started a discussion on the board and started asking who the "in-crowd" was. After all sorts of denials that such a thing existed, I figured that it had to be all these people who started up with the board years earlier and knew all the in-jokes - something about Cluella and a clue by 4, and something else that had traveled around the world and stitchers were sending postcards. I still don't know all the information behind these and other jokes. I only got my hands on the infamous steak thread a few short months ago myself.

And thus, I figured I would never be part of this in-crowd that included all these old-timers who had been around longer than I. *shrug* No great loss. If some anonymous group wanted to have their own secrets and jokes, that's fine with me. I'll go make my own friends.

The hunter becomes prey
As the board evolved further over time, I ignored this idea of an in-crowd - a group that knew all the lofty secrets and in-jokes and were the controlling force of the community - and did my best to become part of the community. Someone who wasn't standing against the wall watching, like I did in high school, but out there in the crowd like I am now. I wasn't afraid to chat online anymore because this seemed like a really great group of people to be associating with. I started posting more and more, and getting active. Saying 'hi' or 'good morning', telling a few jokes here and there, generally trying to be a nice person. Generally, being myself.

I became a moderator for one forum - and regularly threw parties. I would deliver baskets of cookies during the holidays, and skip around from forum to forum, "dusting" once in a while because there wasn't any activity and the moderators in question didn't seems to be doing anything to stimulate discussion. I mean, when two months go by and no one posts *anything* including the moderator, it makes you wonder what happened to the forum, right? I never meant to step on any toes.

I managed to get another of the forums under my belt as well - a very active one, known as Just Plain Chat (JPC) - which all came about simply because I helped the one moderator who actually did anything with some simple wording one day when we were both in the 'The Pub' and she asked for help on some wording of an email she had to send to someone about an issue on the board. That's all. It was all very simple. An eloquently well worded suggestion, and I got hooked into it. Not that I minded.

Ah, but I digress. About 4 or 5 months into my term as moderator someone complained about silly threads. That they were annoying in JPC and in other forums. I was hurt. I was simply doing what I had always done - moved around the community and did what I could do to stimulate conversation. Before that conversation moved any further into the storm that it became, I decided to stop posting cookie basket drops and 'dusting' or 'decorating' threads in any forums other than ones that specifically requested it. From that sprung a very active and very violent discussion about "the in-crowd". It was all I could do to keep from groaning aloud.

A few people, who shall remain nameless, decided that I must be the ringleader of the in-crowd. That I have followers or friends, take your pick, that will do my bidding. They'll post what I ask them to post, they'll square off against anyone that I request they square off against, they'll be mindless robots for me.

I've never felt so insulted and embarrassed for my friends. Thankfully, quite a few of them pooh-pooh'd the idea that they're my "Mindless Minions" (thanks W for the better term than "lapdogs"), and stated that they were proud to count themselves among my friends. Not because I was a moderator. Not because I was a high-profile controversial individual. Because I remained *ME* throughout the whole thing. I may have been a battered, beaten, and character fully assassinated me, but I was still there.

This wasn't the first time that the in-crowd had come up, and it wouldn't be the last either.

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Tomorrow: Just who *IS* the in-crowd, anyway and why does it matter so much to some people?

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....stay tuned.