...the Hollywood remake machine. There really is no such thing as an original idea left in Hollywood, and they've decided that re-introducing so-called "classic" movies to a new generation must involve updating the movie. So here are the latest travesties...

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'Footloose' is being remade. Yes, *that* 'Footloose' with Kevin Bacon. It was a fun but mediocre movie at best, but to remake it? And who do you get to play Ren?

Well, you go to Disney and get Zac Efron from 'High School Musical'. That poor kid is going to get typecast in musicals as the downtrodden hero, but hey, if he's ok with that. Kenny Ortega is directing and acting as choreographer (yes, he of 'Dirty Dancing' *and* 'High School Musical' fame). By the way, if it weren't for a role in 'Hairspray' I'm pretty sure Zac would have a Bacon number of 6; now he has a Bacon number of 2.

Bacon, according to an interview on Cinematical, is "looking forward to seeing it" and thinks "it's great". He says that it's great several times, so either he's trying to convince us or trying to convince himself. Or just doesn't know what to say.

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In other musical movie news, there's word of a remake of 'Desperately Seeking Susan'. But it won't be your traditional remake. They're turning into a stage play! A *real* musical.

As if it wasn't musical enough. But wait! It's not going to have any of the music from the movie - it's going to have old Blondie music instead, and one new song penned by Debbie Harry.

So it's 'Desperately Seeking Susan' and yet, it's not.

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'Sleuth' is being remake. For those who don't recall that movie it originally featured Michael Caine as a hairdresser who has been having an affair with the wife of mystery writer Sir Laurence Olivier. Hilarity and Suspense ensue as they strike up a deal to steal some jewelry and maybe try and kill one another. It wasn't a bad movie for being made in the early 1970s and both Caine and Olivier were excellent in it.

So who do you get to play the magnificent Laurence Olivier? Well, you get Michael Caine to reprise that role. Big shoes to fill, but Caine *could* do it. And so that leaves the question as to who will fill Caine's shoes?

Well, if he was good enough for one Michael Caine role, why not another? But of course, you get Jude Law to do it.

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In other bad casting decisions, Brad Pitt is rumored to be the replacement for Steve McQueen in a remake of 'Bullitt'.

Someone shoot me now.

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'Blade Runner' is being remade again. Sort of. When *isn't* it being redone?

Well, the director has decided yet again to recut the movie and release another "Director's Cut" of the movie. Only this time he's shot some new scenes for it. Joanna Cassidy, almost 25 years later, still can fit into her costumes from the movie and still looks pretty good and has reshot a few of her scenes for the movie.

Apparently she'll be in heels along with what little clothing her replicant was wearing and the chase scene will be very different than the original. Other than that, I'm not sure what else is changing.

Maybe someday Ridley will be happy with that movie. And maybe someday SpiderPig's really will exist.

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Remember a little movie back in the 80s called 'All of Me'? Steve Martin, Lily Tomlin, the wonderful Richard Libertini.... I remember it. My favorite scene was when Libertini (as a strange spiritual man) had lost Edwina's "presence" and was told to put it "back in bowl!". Absolutely great scene with Martin and Libertini.

Yup, they're remaking it. This is another one of those switcheroo things like 'Sleuth' though. No, Martin isn't taking up Libertini's role (I'm hoping they get him to reprise that role himself - that will make it worth watching), but Martin will have a role.

He's taking on the role of the guy who wants his soul transferred to a younger man. Yes, Lily Tomlin's role. I could see that. Problem is, the body he accidentally gets transferred to is Queen Latifah's.

Wasn't 'Bringing Down the House' enough, people?

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In good movie news, 'Working Girl' is *not* being remade. Again.

There is something similar in the works about a divorced woman forced into the workplace who discovers that her experience with spoiled toddlers is exactly the skillset she needs to deal with the spoiled executives she works for. She had the street smart skills to get ahead from what she had done in her previous "life".

But, right, that's nothing like the original 'Working Girl'.

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And to wrap up this edition of "Nothing's Original Anymore in Hollywood", they're going to remake 'Meatballs'.

No, not another sequel, but an entire remake. Sorry, it just won't be the same without Bill Murray as Tripper....

...and no, that wasn't a suggestion to go get him for this movie.