...You have the blond triumvirate - Paris, Britney and Lindsay. In a rather crass and distasteful statement - I'm betting Lindsay is going to die first.
The media follows these young women wherever they possibly can just to catch a glimpse of what insanity they're engaging in now. Paris, thankfully, has been keeping her pert little nose clean. I mentioned that the other day on a bulletin board and followed it with a "now that I've said that..." statement.
Well, now that I said that Paris has popped up again in the press, but only because she popped into Bel Air Pets and bought herself an addition to her menagerie. A Chihuahua. No big, she's got one of those already and another dog. And she'll probably have more within the next 6 months. I'll be happy if that's all we hear from her in the next year - that she's becoming the crazy dog lady of Hollywood.
So let's take a look at Lindsay who can't seem to stay out of the press. Rising young star, pretty girl (if you don't look too closely at her booking photo). She starts getting flaky on movie sets and is late to work or is acting up in other ways. Insurance companies start getting a little nervous and she checks into rehab. And then leaves it. Word comes out that a 20 year old woman has been attending AA meetings for the last year. She's not of legal age and yet she's attending AA meetings? Of course, her entourage can buy alcohol for her, and no one cards at private celebrity gatherings. She could drink to her hearts content (and rumors say she has, to the point of passing out in a hallway).
Then she gets hurt in an accident where she's clearly driving drunk and she checks into rehab again, this time for real and for the entire duration. We hear nothing and take that as a good sign. She gets out and is outfitted with an alcohol monitoring anklet and attends AA meetings daily. This is all good for a week while she's pictured partying with friends and the strongest thing in her hands in Red Bull.
Then her booking photo is all over the news because she was involved in a chase, her blood alcohol level was .12, and drugs were found in the car. Clearly that anklet wasn't working or the folks monitoring it were asleep at the wheel. She's claiming she's innocent, her press folks are saying she "had a relapse" and is back in rehab. That's not going to cut it if she keeps hanging out with whoever is selling her the drugs or providing the alcohol.
She needs to cut her losses and get out of the business for awhile. Go live on a mountain in Montana or something, isolated for awhile. Maybe it will do her some good because otherwise all I can picture is a headline that the body was found and it was an OD (or she totaled her car and herself). That or she's going to turn into the Robert Downey Jr of this generation - in which case, we're going to ride this train for about 10 years, she'll disappear for a couple of them and then do a brilliant turn on television because *someone* will take a chance on her and then she'll be able to work in movies again and be brilliant at it.
And then there's Britney. She's a greater trainwreck than Paris and Lindsay put together. She starts up this fantastic empire of music and dance and gives it all up for a white trash baby breeder who is a backup dancer and wanna be rap star. She hooks up with him while his girlfriend is still pregnant with their second child, marries him and pops out a couple of kids while the press watches hungry. She drives with a kid on her lap, she lets herself go a little. And then her marriage breaks up and so does she, and ends up in rehab herself.
And we all thought that post-rehab she'd have her act together, right? Nah, there's something clearly wrong with Brit. It's come out that she had a photo shoot recently and acted in a most bizarre manner. She went to the bathroom several times without closing the door, the rumors started that she was doing drugs in there. Her dog pooped on a designer dress and her people had to be asked to take care of it instead of automatically doing so. She used a designer gown to wipe her greasy fingers because she was eating chicken. She complained the clothing wasn't short enough or tight enough or sexy enough (read: not white trash enough for her). No respect, no tact. And she walks out of there after 3 hours with clothing worth almost $15K.
The girl is in a spiral, and sadly that sentence could almost apply to all three. I don't care how bad Britney is, I think Lindsay is further down the destructive path than any of them. Paris, thankfully (sadly? for the press and bloggers), has turned herself around a bit and is behaving. Or at least staying away from where the press can get at her. Even so, together these three make the greatest three ring media circus ever. Three blond princesses of their respective kingdoms - society, music and movies. All three falling from great heights and mocking all that's being done to help them with their bad behavior. A circus, indeed. Now all they really need is a freak show...
...maybe someone should call Michael Vick for that.