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Monday, June 11, 2007
Random Rambles
...time once again for when the marbles have fallen out of their bag and are rattling around in my skull...

I noticed that a recent music update email from iTunes showed up on Friday. Does anyone else find that unusual considering the update is called "New Music Tuesday"?

It's not that people are getting dumber. It's that intelligence is a constant and there are more people to distribute it among.

And I'm just trying to hold onto more than my fair share.

Speaking of stupid... have you seen those new Acuvue commercials with the woman who has an astigmatism and as a result sometimes her contacts go blurry? Her doctor prescribed the Acuvue for Astigmatism lenses and since "they're the only lenses designed to correct with every blink" (yeah, right, like my B&L Toric lenses haven't been doing that for the last 15 years) she feels better about being a mom.

Excuse me? It took non-blurry contact lenses to feel better about being a mom? Hallejuah! Let's stop prescribing anti-depressants and therapy! Everyone gets non-blurry contact lenses from now on when they don't feel like a good mommy!

It's Stoopid.

So I'm listening to the morning news one day while working at home and they start introducing a unique story.

Hundreds of guitarists try to break a world record by playing Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water" all at the same time. The female reporter says "1683 slackers, I mean guitar players..."

Oh yeah, trying to be funny. Well, it's funny the first time, but when you continue the story and keep using the world "slacker" to describe the people playing *and* the people who came to watch them, that's a little less than funny.

I'm so sorry you're such a high and mighty EARLY EDITION anchor (couldn't make the cut for afternoons or evenings, could you?) but that doesn't mean you should be calling people names on the air.

I recently read, in Jeff Kreisler's 'Funny Money' column, that Wal-Mart's advertising agency is concerned that the low-prices might only be attracting "hillbilly types".

After listening to the Blue Collar Comedy Tour recently all I have to say is this:

Isn't that the demographic they wanted in the first place?

Phil Collins sings "Take, take me home..."

So, that song is about a puppy in a pet store, right?

Paris Hilton is back in jail and was in the medical wing over the weekend. We still don't know what her "undisclosed illness" is but speculation is running from claustrophobia to withdrawal to a rash to a nervous breakdown.

Paris herself has said she's not appealing the sentence, that the media needs to focus on more important things like Iraq, and told Barbara Walters that she "used to act dumb" and that God has given her "this new chance".

This new chance to do what? Try and overcome the spoiled princess routine and try to act like a saint? Who's betting that within one week of being released from prison she's totally back on the party circuit?

That's it from me today... have a good one.