...Yes, this time I'm starting the week with Mr. Spammer. He's been busy over the weekend...

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Dear Mr. Spammer,

This certainly is an occasion. You went quiet for awhile, and then suddenly my inbox is filled with things from you. I have noticed that your writings have increased after I unsubscribed my work address from a certain ONS's mailing list. Very suspicious. I certainly hope they're unrelated...

Anyway, back to your correspondence. I got so very many emails from you telling me about a "party with Steve-O". Now, I don't know who Steve-O is, and maybe I don't want to know, but I do appreciate the invitations to the party. Or was the point of sending on so very many invites was because you were trying to decide the tag lines of the invites?

I did have to chuckle at some of them. "If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?" was good, as was "Why isn't popcorn a vegetable?". Honestly, Mr. Spammer, you didn't have to send me 25 emails in a 15 minute span of time just to send those quirky little bits. You could have just put them all into a single email and sent them as a funny instead of all those separate emails about Steve-O's party. That would have been a much more efficient use of your time.

By the way, if these were all supposed to be invites to Steve-O's party why were there links for me to enter to win a night out with him? Was this supposed to be a private party or just a way to get more of my information before Steve-O decides he wants me at his party? That doesn't seem very charitable to me - if someone invites you to a party, then they invite you. You shouldn't be entering a lottery to be able to get in.

So sorry Mr. Spammer, but I'm going to decline your invitation this time around. But I do appreciate the little witticisms that you included with each one. Next time send those around in one email instead of spread out in 25 of them.

~WG~ still pondering the one that said "If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?"