...Yes, this time I'm starting the week with Mr. Spammer. He's been busy over the weekend...
Dear Mr. Spammer,
This certainly is an occasion. You went quiet for awhile, and then suddenly my inbox is filled with things from you. I have noticed that your writings have increased after I unsubscribed my work address from a certain ONS's mailing list. Very suspicious. I certainly hope they're unrelated...
Anyway, back to your correspondence. I got so very many emails from you telling me about a "party with Steve-O". Now, I don't know who Steve-O is, and maybe I don't want to know, but I do appreciate the invitations to the party. Or was the point of sending on so very many invites was because you were trying to decide the tag lines of the invites?
I did have to chuckle at some of them. "If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?" was good, as was "Why isn't popcorn a vegetable?". Honestly, Mr. Spammer, you didn't have to send me 25 emails in a 15 minute span of time just to send those quirky little bits. You could have just put them all into a single email and sent them as a funny instead of all those separate emails about Steve-O's party. That would have been a much more efficient use of your time.
By the way, if these were all supposed to be invites to Steve-O's party why were there links for me to enter to win a night out with him? Was this supposed to be a private party or just a way to get more of my information before Steve-O decides he wants me at his party? That doesn't seem very charitable to me - if someone invites you to a party, then they invite you. You shouldn't be entering a lottery to be able to get in.
So sorry Mr. Spammer, but I'm going to decline your invitation this time around. But I do appreciate the little witticisms that you included with each one. Next time send those around in one email instead of spread out in 25 of them.
~WG~ still pondering the one that said "If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?"