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Friday, March 30, 2007
Dear Mr. Spammer
...Happy Friday! I got a very special letter from Mr. Spammer this week and thought that I should take the time to address it properly.

Dear Mr. Spammer,

I recently received your letter, and I have to say that you certainly devise some of the more creative subjects for letters that I've ever seen. Granted, the content doesn't necessarily match the subject line, but that just adds to the fun.

I'm referring to your letter that recently contained some information about an OTC penny stock that is highly suspicious and some garbled nonsense about the FBI, a message board and legendary, enchanted yore. That was all fine and good, since a lot of your messages are often... unique. But your subject line! This was the best yet.

"You haven't lived until you've called people on the phone to ask them about their toilets."

I have to say that you've reached a new creative zenith Mr. Spammer. It's definitely eye catching and made me want to read your email right away. I was hoping that you'd have some funny story about toilet phone calls, but alas, I was disappointed.

I can say, however, that I think if I were to receive a phone call that was about my toilet I would probably be quite taken aback. Maybe even hang up on the caller, unless it was DH calling to tell me that the toilet blew up or something. That would be an interesting toilet phone call for sure. But somehow I think I could have more fun calling people to ask them about their dining preferences, or what dishwasher they have. Or maybe if they've ever considered owning a sword - a real edged one that could cause damage. Some of those phone calls could be good. I think one about squirrel superhighways (i.e. backyard fences in springtime) could be really entertaining.

But toilets? Why toilets, Mr. Spammer? Is it a fascination with the bathroom? If so we could ask about bidets, sinks, tubs, and showers too. Or expand to asking about fixtures and towels. That's it! Towels. Discussing towels could be very interesting - what color, what brand, are they still fluffy, do you use fabric softener on them or not. Very interesting. Especially if we get people who haven't washed their towels in weeks.

Ok, maybe that would be more disgusting than interesting but I think it would be less gross than finding out someone hasn't cleaned their toilet in months... No, I don't think I want to know what you've encountered Mr. Spammer.

~WG~ *thinking she needs to run a load of towels, just in case someone calls...*