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Tuesday, October 03, 2006
A Very Special Message...

...We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog to bring you this un-paid promotional announcement.


Sitting in a chair is the infamous Suz, looking bright but not as much as usual, and commenting that her coworkers were not listening to her when she said she was sick. As a result, she ended up being the one to always answer the lab phone. She comments that she hopes she has power germs...

Folks, do you want to feel under the weather? Do you want someone else to get sick so that you don't have to deal with them?

If the answer to either of those two questions is yes, then we've got your solution right here! *holds up a test tube labeled SSPG* What you need is Super Suzy Power Germs!

With these specially formulated power germs, you could infect anyone you want in a 5 office radius, or keep you and your entire family sick for a week!

It could even reach the entire building if you're really inventive and neglect to wash your hands after blowing your nose and proceed to touch doorknob handles and cough on the coffee cake! Super Suzy Power Germs are specially formulated from the source *spotlight turns back onto Suz who coughs for the camera* and they are easily reproducible and spreadable. Once one person has them, they'll continue to spread.

Call us, and we'll send you this 1oz test tube of Super Suzy Power Germs for only $19.99 and a small shipping fee to ensure it arrives intact at your location. For a slightly larger fee we could deliver it to the recipient of your choice, and ensure that it's not completely intact so that you can infect them right away.

But wait... if you call now, we'll double your order of Super Suzy Power Germs! That's right! Two ounces of Super Suzy Power Germs for the super low fee of just $19.99. And to sweeten the deal, if you call in the next 15 minutes, we'll promise to not include a box of kleenex, and give you a special blister pak of Super Suzy Nasal Congestion, guaranteed to give you some strange sinus infection that even the strongest antibiotics have problems clearing up.

That's right... if you call within the 15 minutes, we'll not only double your order, but we'll include the Super Suzy Nasal Congestion.

So pick up the phone, and kids, get your parent's permission before calling, and dial 1-800-SuperSnot and get your Super Suzy Power Germs NOW!

Remember, we are not responsible for virus mutation that spurs from Super Suzy Power Germs due to misuse of the product, conflicts with medication, one night stands with other viruses, and the general decision of the Power Germs to try and take over the world.

A big thank you to Suz for letting me take a conversation we had yesterday in IM, and tweak it for blogability. I miss doing infomercials like this...