...Where does something stop being an "I so wish I could have this" and turns into a "this is my sob story, pity me?"

Recently I saw a post somewhere where an individual who was going through a hard time was wishing out loud that she could have a pattern she wanted. Totally in love with it. A group gets together in that thread and starts putting the whole gift together for the person who had been posting regularly about all the negative twists her life seems to have taken. Then someone came into the thread and asked a very blunt, but totally honest question: If I post a sob story, can I get stash too?

It may not be a question asked in the best of taste (and I suspect that it was posted by a troll), but it gave me something to think about. I remember a time when someone started off with the collective sympathy of the stitching community by posting that she was going to end her life, and was sitting there with the knife in her lap, etc etc. Clearly unstable, not a lot we could do about it, but some tried. Eventually the individual changed her username, and then just drifted away. But anywhere else she was online (outside the stitching community) there was no indication that she was unstable.

Was it a ploy for sympathy? Some folks I know think that it was a group psychology experiment. There's no way of knowing because this person has just vanished off the face of the internet earth, after supposedly getting engaged to a new boyfriend (which came after a very talked about young boyfriend she acquired).

Anyway... over the years I've watched people post about their hard times, and their good times. I've watched posts go up for new designs and people wishing they could have them. I've posted about wanting things too. But the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when I see the "I'd love to have it, but (I'm too poor, I'd have to sell stash, I need to buy groceries, insert your excuse here)" and then start seeing (or hearing) of people who are organizing a plot to get such things to the individual in need.

Now, that's not to say that such plots aren't a good idea - I've organized them myself, and you may be saying that I'm a touch hypocritical about it because I was the recipient of a wonderful plot a few years ago that put stash in my daughters' hands. Heck, even my own BB has a RAK (Random Act of Kindness) forum for all the people who want to acknowledge the gifts that they have received from someone unexpectedly. But when I see the same individuals post the same things over and over again - they'd love to have it, but life won't let them because they're (insert your excuse) then I start to get wary. And the cynic in me has asked the computer screen the very same question: If I post about really bad times (a sob story, if you will allow me to quote the individual at the top of this post) can I get free stash too?

Some of you are going to think I'm mean for saying that, or that I'm overly cynical, but how many of you have thought the same thing, no matter how briefly? I'm not trying to make enemies here either, or quell anyone's statements about how something is so pretty and they really want it - that's normal for everyone. Hey, I really want all the stash that's on my wishlist, but I can't afford it either - but that's ok, because if I got everything that I wanted, I wouldn't have anything on the list.

I'm thinking of this more in terms of the bum on the street with the sign that says he's homeless, yet he's wearing better athletic shoes than I have - or has iPod headphones coming out from under his shirt. Or the folks who start asking for copies of charts after someone else is done stitching something because they can't get it where they are. Or something is a limited edition, my goodness they have to have it NOW NOW NOW but can't afford it. Where, if anywhere, does one draw the line? It's all up to the person(s) involved, naturally. On both sides, because it's a matter of perspective.

If you always post that your life is going down the gutter, then that's all that people are going to think about you. And the more cynical individuals are going to point and say "Ploy for Sympathy" and wonder how true it is. If you always post that your life is wine and roses, then some folks are going to be jealous of what you have and wonder how true it is. And there's going to be people on both sides who just watch life go by and do the nice things that they're inspired to do. Without someone begging for something, or whining for it. Which is the way it should be - gifts for the sake of gifts and not because someone engineered your feelings.

I know there's going to be quite a few people who think I'm perfectly awful for posting this, but I get darn tired of seeing people complain about their lives and how stash will make it better, and forget the real blessings in their lives...

...and now you can send me a fully kitted Mirabilia, just because I want it. Ok. Bad joke.