...for anyone who has never considered suicide, attempted it and lived or are one of the 'left behind', by someone who committed suicide and thinks that it might be a good escape.

Don't. Stop. Just quit thinking that right now. Or hooray that you stopped thinking, whatever is applicable.

Suicide, as I don't have to tell many of you reading this, is the worst possible solution to anything. It is, pardon the cliches, the cowards way out. The permanent solution to what is almost always a temporary problem. It is being lost and not knowing that there is a way out because you are so mired in what is bad/sad/wrong that you don't see the way out. Even when it's an obvious exit, because the only exit you see is death. Or you are so depressed that anything would feel better than living in the existence you have at the moment (and depression is a nasty thing that is hard to escape).

It is the most selfish thing a loved individual can do to everyone around them. I can speak with great authority on this, as I attempted it once. I was 16, I was young, I was stupid and it would have destroyed everyone around me. That's all I'm going to say about my own attempt, other than I was really glad Mom found me as I was taking the last of the pills with a glass of vodka I managed to sneak - Charcoal and stomach pumping? Not fun. You know the saying about age bringing wisdom? It's very true.

Some of you are probably wondering why this topic is appearing here. I'm sorry to say that you're going to have to be left wondering. This is on my mind for my own reasons. And I'm sorry if it sounds judgmental, it's certainly not meant to sound that way - I have very strong feelings on the subject, for obvious reasons (and if they're not obvious to you, then re-read the paragraph above this one until you do get it).

DH said something very important to me the other day: You live life with courage. You face death with courage. Taking your own life isn't courageous. It's selfish. And it doesn't solve the problems of anyone else around you no matter what you think about the whole world being better off without you.

It won't. You will have people who will cry for months over the fact that you are gone. You will have many others who are angry, nay livid, that you turned to this as a solution for your problem. Some are just confused. You will have others that sink into depression that you're gone - and maybe even a suicide as a result depending on how important you were to someone else.

No matter what the problem is, there is always a solution that is better than death. Sometimes it's a really hard solution to grasp. Sometimes you want to continue giving up. But living is always better than death - there is nothing honorable about taking your own life.

Think about it for a moment. Life is a miracle in and of itself. A bunch of cells are gathered together and enable us to breathe, speak, move, digest food, think about stuff and hundreds of other processes that we don't see because they're all going on under the surface of the skin. Muscles move, infections are fought - and we're all built the same way (with rare exception, skin color notwithstanding). The fact that all these cells managed to be brought together - whether via "intelligent design" (new marketing term for "creationism") or "evolution" isn't relevant to this discussion - the fact is we're not individual piles of goo sitting on the ground. We are miracles with every breath, every eye blink, every thought we have, and we are constantly thinking (if you stop to think about that you might just be a pile of goo by the time you're done thinking about it).

Many of us hope for miracles (I'm using that as a generic term, not a religious one), whether they be serious need or something small and petty - why would anyone want to waste what has to be one of the greatest miracles ever? Maybe it's because I'm not a short-sighted person (although I was once) that I can't even think about taking my own life without a measure of distaste in my mouth. Maybe it's the echo of the pills and alcohol tasting in my mouth. Maybe it's just that I got older and wiser and know better now, because nothing's more important than life.

It's something to think about, even if you're so not inclined, because of all that you are grateful for but...

Think of all the people that are currently in your life, be they passing acquaintances at work, or someone who lives with you - how would they feel if you killed yourself? Angry? In Denial? Upset? Depressed?

Think of what you can do - you can call someone, or take a walk outside, watch television, eat a cookie. Any small little thing can take you one step further away from such a drastic action.

What about the person closest to you - would they tell everyone what happened, or just a close set of friends. How would you feel about no one knowing what happened and it being thought of as an unfortunate happenstance to someone so young and full of life? Or what if that person closest to you took their own life because they were so depressed over losing *you*?

What if you just want to get a little attention or think of this as a cry for help, and it goes farther than you can control it? My ex-roommate in college supposedly tried it, but I didn't see any scars on her wrists just two years later (when she told me about it) - and she came just shy of admitting that it was to get the attention of someone she was interested in. But if she really *did* try it, then she risked her life in a really stupid way for a really dumb reason (as if there are smart reasons to risk your life, other than saving the life of someone else).

There are so many 'what if' scenarios that you could play out. And I know there'’s another one that's unspoken - what if I die and no one cares or notices? Guess what? No such thing. Someone *always* notices when someone else is absent from their lives/routines. You're. Not. Alone. Ever.

To borrow from a favorite (and reasonably popular) Chicago song:

Pools of sorrow, tears of joy, there's a broken up girl for every broken down boy.
But you don't wanna hear it, you got the rhythm of the blues;
You wanna be a sad story on the late night news.
I don't mean to burst your bubble, but the world's got troubles worse than you
And everybody else out here gets lonely too.

And the song goes on to say that you're not alone. The real struggle is to remember that we're not alone when we really think that we are.

Because we're never alone. And I hate hearing about wasted miracles.