...I was working out last Wednesday, when I had my measurements done. I had forgotten to request a printout of my results, and after I was done I went to get said information.

I had to wait politely while a Curves employee was explaining the place to a woman and her son, and since it's a small lobby, I managed to overhear most of the conversation even though I tried to politely stay out of earshot. The boy was about as tall as I, and probably outweighed me by at least 50 pounds, but was clearly young. I guessed him to be about 12, but I was a little far off. He's 14.

The woman who was inquiring about the place was quietly insistent that Curves is for her - she's partially deaf, does not like being in large crowds of people (she seemed shy, or hesitant), and needed something that would help control her Type I diabetes. Her doctor had recommended exercise, and she was pretty sure that Curves was the place for her.

There was one small problem. She doesn't like to talk to people much, and therefore doesn't make friends, so she wanted to be able to bring someone with her while working out. The employee thought that this would be fine until it was determined that the person the potential client would be bringing in with her would be her son.

Her son had no motivation to work out (his words) and is convinced that he is fat. And he's frustrated about it from the tone I picked up in his voice when he declared that he was fat. I didn't think that there was anything wrong with him other than a clear lack of self-esteem. From the sound of his voice I got the idea that he might have some hearing loss or something else himself. While the employee tried to re-explain that this is a gym for women, the potential client kept insisting that this is where she needed to come to work out and that her son *has* to come with her.

Her son reassured the Curves employee that he doesn't mind working out with a bunch of women. While that's very self-assured of him, I don't think that street goes both ways. They both left shortly afterward, pamphlets and information in hand.

After I got my printout, I got caught into a conversation with another client and the manager on duty. The lady and her son came back and motioned for the employee to go outside. This raised eyebrows between myself and the other two women there. We chatted lightly until the employee came back in, and found out that the lady and her son had an appointment for the following evening. There's no way they could turn the business away, as that would just be asking for a discrimination lawsuit.

The employee reminded us that the potential client's son doesn't mind working out with a bunch of women. I wondered aloud how much would a bunch of women mind working out with him? I was asked that question of myself almost immediately.

Honestly. I'm on the fence, I told them, because I would have to see what the boy is like when actually working out. I also said that I wasn't 100% comfortable with that idea either. I asked them how many 12, 13, 14-year old boys they knew and what their behavior was like. I got lots and lots of negative descriptions from the other two ladies (who were overweight) - they point, they laugh, they tease, they're mean, they don't have any tact, etc etc. While I agreed that that is true, I told them about the other end of the spectrum. They watch, they're rude or they stare. I had no idea how on target I was with that assessment.

That's why I don't go to a co-ed gym. I don't want anyone watching me intently or staring at me while I work out. That's why I go to a women's gym - I am highly less likely to experience the "ogling factor" while I'm there. I'm in reasonably good shape - I hover around 134 pounds on average, I'm 5' 7", and I'm, ahem, well built in the chest region. I don't need a 14 year old hormone factory working out right next to me, or working out right across from me. Or working out in the same room with me.

If I wanted to work out with a member of the opposite sex, then I would have joined the same gym as my husband. And honestly, I think if I had done that, I wouldn't still be working out now. I think his attempts to "help" me get more out of my workout would have turned me off to the gym, and I wouldn't be in the shape that I am now.

That being, considerably better than it was when I started 8 months ago. I have some muscle tone and I'm doing this all by myself with no pressure from anyone, including the employees at Curves.

I'm comfortable at Curves because it's all women, and because there's a comfortable easy going air in there between the regulars. I'm not pushed to work harder than I'm comfortable with at the time. I don't have to talk to anyone - I can always look at the floor, and they'll leave me alone. I've been in other gyms where I look at the floor and someone jabbers away at me, and I just get fed up and hurry to get out of there. That and it's social hour at a great many gyms. I'm afraid that if this boy is allowed to come in there's going to be quite a different atmosphere coming on board, and a few less regulars, and I think that I might be one of the people who stops going there.

Sure, I can always figure out when they're going to be working out and avoid them as much as possible. I can always get a travel pass and visit a different facility (there's a Curves within walking distance of my new building location for the company, and I should be moved in there by September). I shouldn't let something like this keep me from doing something that's so excellent (and addicting) for me. I can just sit here and hope that they weren't satisfied with their first tryout of the place and decide that it's not for them. I hope, I hope.

Heck, it's just plain wrong for me to be thinking like this. It's discrimination wrong, that's how bad it is. I've always been one to say that women and men are equal and they should have equal pay, equal rights, equal time off, perks, benefits, and the list goes on and on and on. I know that there are some things that a man can do that a woman probably shouldn't - like play pro-football. Well, a woman probably shouldn't play on a men's pro-football team, and I don't know many women who could withstand the rigors of the game. Or would want to.

Likewise, I don't know any men who would willingly want to endure pregnancy or childbirth (even if there's a c-section involved). Or could handle it.

Gyms and clubs, however, are different. Women have pushed on that for years. Men can't have a men's only club - some woman makes sure that the place will change its rules and allow women. Personally, I wouldn't mind if there were a men's only gym chain around. If men want to work out among other men, and only other men, then that's fine with me and women shouldn't intrude. There are co-ed gyms for the women and men to co-exist in peace, sweat and harmony. There's Curves and Linda Evans for women who want a low-pressure comfortable exercise experience. A women's only place... it's only fair to have a men's only place. Which, I've just found out, they do. Something called Axxion, or Axtion - not sure what the name is, but it's a men's Curves and it's just started up. I wish them the best of success.

I found out that they came for their first appointment, and they haven't been back. During the free consultation appointment, it was explained that this is a women's gym, and women do blow off steam here, vent, bash men (although I've not seen this), etc. The boy fired back with a comment about not minding about working out among women. He was told that he might be a little uncomfortable with some of the conversation because it's going to be coming from older women, and not from his own peer group. He snapped at the Curves manager about her insinuation that he doesn't have any girlfriends (where did *that* come from) and that he's got 8 girlfriends. The rest of the conversation went downhill from there - he was increasingly rude, and when it came time to work out he decided to sit in the lobby with his cd player and headphones and sing loudly along with the music, ignoring the requests to be quiet. And he stared... he would get up and block the doorway or the check in computer where we wand in, and he would stare into the workout area. I don't know if he targeted staring at any one person or just was equal opportunity ogling.

Both the manager and I and a few others are hoping against hope that he and his mother, who did nothing to reign in his behavior, don't come back. They were referred to The Right Stuff, just down the street. Great. They can work out with my husband at his co-ed gym where those two (the mom and son) belong. I didn't sign up at Curves to be stared at - I signed up to feel better about myself and be comfortable.

I can understand the potential client's initial issue (and thus stating that she needs her son with her) - it's hard to make friends in new places. Especially places where you may be judged, critiqued, evaluated by strangers. I had the same issue walking into my Curves for the first time - despite all that I had heard, I was nervous about being around some of these women who had been there a while. Some who may be wondering why I'm there in the first place; others just searching for and finding my imperfections. When you have a disability that makes that much harder, it's nice to have a familiar face around you...

...I just wish that that face she wants around didn't belong to her 14 year old son.