...that perfectly sane and confident women lose it when someone 'better' crosses their path? *nods to W for the inspiration today*

*looks around at all the blank stares* Oh come on, don't play innocent with me. You all know what I'm talking about. You're self-assured and walking around minding your own business when someone prettier, or better dressed with nicer jewelry, crosses your path. They're thinner, or have better skin, or their hair is shinier. They could come off as smarter when you have a chance to hear them speak about something, or they have a smoother silky voice, or someone you like really admires them for the littlest thing.

Maybe it's your spouse or significant other who is the one that's doing the admiring and that's what sets it all off.

Women freak at this sort of thing. I can speak with experience on this one, as I'm a woman. A pretty darn self-assured one too. But every once in a while, you're happily walking along and encounter what can only be termed as an insignificant threat to your existence, and you find yourself using Sweet 'n' Low in your tea instead of the real sugar or honey you've used your entire lifetime, and standing up straighter so that your bust looks fuller. You start going through the closet to make sure that your belt, bag, and shoes all match. You go find a new organic shampoo so that your hair shines more than it ever did before.

Now, before I go on, I've never done that - at least not consciously. I'm pretty self-confident, as a co-worker once pointed out, and arrogant at that. But I've earned the arrogance because I'm the best at what I do. And I'm confident as a result of knowing that I'm good. But I digress.

What is it that prompts some women to crack when they're perfectly fine. Something to think about: perhaps that other person with the better whatever is unhappy or self-conscious about something themselves...

Real life example: I'm a pretty laid back individual. I wear jeans to work daily, with scuffed up worn cross-trainers. No makeup, hair is nicely brushed, and I don't have toothpaste crust on my mouth. My lips are a little chapped usually... thus the ever-present chapstick or blistex. I'm usually in a sweatshirt or a t-shirt worn under an unbuttoned long sleeve men's shirt. No, the shirts are mine - I've never stolen one from DH.

It's a really comfortable existence - the jeans are clean without holes (usually) at the knees, all the shirts are ironed. So, while it's very Geek comfy, it's also clean and presentable. I let my actions and experience speak for itself, not my wardrobe. It's part of the Silly-Con Valley/Apple culture of the late 80s - if the employees are comfortable, then they'll probably be more productive. Having lived for 2 1/2 career years in nylons and heels and suits, and then the last 8 in the wardrobe as described above, I can tell you that that is most definitely true.

There's someone at work in another department who is a fashion plate - she makes sure that her hair is perfect, the makeup is perfect, the clothes are just so - the anklet is perfectly adjusted, the tattoo just peeks out here or there... I had the opportunity to see her preen in the ladies' room when I was in there washing the heck out of my hands because I'd gotten some cleaner on them and didn't want that in my lunch. She sashays when she walks in her two or three inch spike heels. When she bends over, she does it so that her bottom (shaped by hours and hours at the gym) is rather noticeable... I hear she pulled the bend over routine after opening the hood of her car and the guys came running. My ex-boss did too, I also hear, but turned and walked back in saying he wanted no part of that. My respect for him increased a few notches back up after hearing about that.

I'm sure you get the idea - she's the kind of woman that would make someone else work harder on their image - the guys drool over her. Of course, she's also got a reputation for something else and that could be part of why the guys drool, but we won't go there.

Anyway, one day I hear that someone of the male persuasion complimented me on my style to someone else. If I recall correctly, I was wearing keds, no socks, jeans with holes in the knees, and a Chicago t-shirt (the band, not the city). The following week, guess who is dressed in an attempt to mimic me? *nods*

She didn't quite pull it off - it takes years of practice to get that easygoing, hands in jeans pockets, all female girl who is one of the guys confidence. In all actuality, it's not something you can really practice either - its just something that becomes part of you. The leaning in the doorway, with one hand in the pocket and a bright smile sort of thing.

I was very interested in the comments that some friends of mine passed my way that day - especially the ones that mentioned her frustration at getting no compliments on her outfit. She's not tried to do that again, as far as I know, but I'm waiting.

What was it, I wish to know, that shook her arrogance (oh yes, she's got an ego... as do I) to have this need to dress like someone else? To not be what she usually is, but to have to change herself? I can't help but think that in her case it's some strange need to have everyone like her, but you can't be all things to all people. And you have to be happy with yourself, otherwise, what's the point?

But still, I digress even further than the original point of this... is it jealousy that makes women start dressing better, or changing their hair when in contact with someone who they think has got a better outward image than they have? Is it a lack of confidence in their outward image? Is it the idea that if they look like this other perfect woman, then they'll have the seemingly perfect life too?

*shrug* I don't know, and I can't explain it. But it's just something I was wondering about...

*...sticks her hands in her jeans pockets and walks off with a little smile on her face*