site stats WhizGidget Wonders...
Monday, October 27, 2003
Some people's kids...

Everyone has one in thier lives, whether they're on the periphery, or right there in front of you. Someone who just isn't a good person to be around for your mental or emotional health. Or psychological health.

In my case, it's someone I've pushed to the periphery, but who used to be part of the regular landscape. Flighty, non-commital to what she actually believes in, sour and cynical. Very cynical - exactly as I used to be, but then I brightened up and life started getting better.

She left her husband of many years, whom she's said repressed her from being the woman she really wanted to be, for someone younger who worked with her. They were moving right along, but he was getting unhappy, and then she got pregnant. I hear that part of the reason was so that she could ensure that they stayed together. And she was planning a wedding, until he got smart and called it off.

She got cozy with a friend of mine so that she could pawn the baby off on her all the time and still be able to go out and have fun. She cozied up to me because I'm a mom of two who works full time and she used to ask me constantly what to do because she was so tired all the time... and the baby is so demanding. I told her to get used to it - it's part of the mom landscape. And I started distancing myself from her.

Then he got laid off, and she felt empowered being the one to support him, while they lived at her mother's house. She was remodeling the house, while her mother still lived in it, because the house would be hers after her mother dies, and why shouldn't she start getting it the way she wants it. *rolling eyes*

Her mother passed away, and she still hasn't cried over it. And she probably never will.

This is someone that I don't have a lot of respect for anymore - she's called her child "it"; she's woken him up at 9pm to give him a bath after letting him sleep in a stroller for two hours and then complains when the baby won't go to sleep afterward; the baby has had a persistent cold since he was born (he's approx 14 months now), and she doesn't bug the doctors about it; she told the father of the baby to move out of the house, but he hasn't and she's not pushing the issue. I think that last one is because she still has some fun with the baby's father once in a while (at least she used to)... and she flaunts the other men she's seeing in front of him.

I honestly wonder if she loves that child, or was just in love with the idea of making a happy family out of almost nothing. And now she's going to try and do it again...

Today, I found out, she's getting married. No, not to the father of the baby, but someone that she met at the Burning Man festival. She's known the guy for less than two months, brought him to the workplace on thier second date so that he could see everything about our operation, and was looking at wedding dresses online about 3 or 4 weeks ago. Now she's sporting an engagement ring I hear, and is floating on cloud 9.

I don't begrudge her her happiness... if she is indeed truly happy. But I fear that she's just marrying the guy for his daughter (who is 15 and supposedly is in love with the baby and adores her), the convenience that a built in baby sitter will bring, and for a better way to ensure that she doesn't lose the child, since the father of the baby has made noise about fighting for full custody of the baby.

The reason he wants custody? She's a flighty mess. I don't blame him one bit for that...

... but it just reinforces my beliefs that some people's kids should never become parents themselves.