...Ok, maybe not. Maybe it's just the freaky freaks that are here. Either way, there are way too many people standing in line around the country waiting for the iPhone.

Before I continue: I must wish a very happy birthday to my DH. Ok. Back to the iPhone...

Up until a couple of days ago, I wanted an iPhone in the worst way. Not enough to switch from Verizon to the evil and sloppy AT&T network, but almost. And the timing could not have been better since I was up for my New Every Two on Tuesday afternoon. If Verizon had the iPhone I would have been seriously tempted to take my $100 credit and apply it to one of those handy gadgets. But then I started hearing things.

The first thing I heard was about the fat, sweaty, obsessed guy who has been sitting in line since Monday night at 5pm in front of the New York City Apple Store. He's got some personal goal to be the first in line for all the major things that anyone would wait in line for. He's the media's "man on the street" when they interview line standers, but that makes sense because they *would* interview the first person in line to find out how long they've been there.

He's even got his own Wikipedia page. How sad is that? No spouse indeed... I don't think that I'd want to associate with a fat sweaty guy with man-boobs who is willing to sit shirtless in front of the Apple store for 5 days. Heck, I'd have a hard time sitting there for 5 *hours*. I don't think that there is anything in the world that I would want that badly.

But here we are, 12 hours away from the official launch in Silly.com Valley, and I've been hearing things. People are camping out at the mall and on the street, and there are folks who are hiring themselves out on Craigslist as linesitters. Three guys in Walnut Creek have iWait t-shirts on, have graduated from high school and admit that they have nothing better to do. They're either going to sell the iPhones that they get on eBay, or they're going to sell their spot in line. It's smart, and yet... I could think of better things to do with my time.

Still, I *do* have the day off - I probably could have done something like that since I hear linesitters are getting something like $500 to just be a placeholder. A laptop (and wireless connection), my iPod, a Sudoku book - that would be enough to get me through the day. That and some Starbucks lemonade iced tea (made with Passion tea).

But I'm a little saner than that. I'll let the rest of the world go nuts for something that looks beautiful and performs well but is on a network that sucks. I hear that the EDGE network (AT&T's data network) that it's on performs like dial-up. Only slower. Even Steve Jobs admits that to the Wall Street Journal today - that he wishes it were a little faster. And you can't sync the iPhone with Outlook. And it doesn't fit most iPod accessories and a myriad of other things that I would want it to do that it can't do. Still, if Verizon had had it on Wednesday afternoon I probably would have succumbed and bought it for myself (I got a Motorola KRZR instead - and a bluetooth ear thingy).

No, I've only been moderately obsessive about reading the iPhone news because I'm not an Apple fangirl. It's a neat gadget, and I'm a gadgetgeek. It's making huge tech news and Apple is in my own backyard. It's hard to *avoid* the news even if I wanted too. But I am a fan of Apple's music players, and my experiences with Mac's were always good, and I know some really great people who have worked at Apple in their career lifetime. But it's the linesitters that really get me. I read Gizmodo and they've been in line since about 6pm last night and are chronicling their experiences in line (including the guy selling and smoking weed a couple down from them, and the other 'crackhead' who put fresh batteries in his boombox). They're sitting in San Francisco. Someone else is covering the Palo Alto store where Robert Scoble is supposed to be sitting and making himself a press target. I'm wondering why there isn't anyone sitting at the ValleyFair mall store that's about 15 minutes from the Apple campus. All I know is that I'm not going near the mall today...

...because today is *not* a good day to buy an iPod.