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Thursday, February 01, 2007
So, You Thought I Was Done...
...talking about fast food and the like with yesterday's post, right? Well, sort of.

One of the things that I love about the industry and tech blogs that I read is that sometimes you get one of those really unusual products showing up in them. Some of them are really innovative, some are nice conjecture and wishing, and then there are those that just have you shaking your head.

Like the talking plate. *THIS* is what we need to go with those fast food kiosks that I was talking about yesterday. Some Ukranian doctor has invented a normal sized plate that has sensors in it that detect the weight that's piled on the plate. When it reaches a certain point, the plate starts talking to you and telling you to "stop right there" or "Where's your willpower". That would truly be annoying, but then again, it would be quite humbling and there's nothing like a little shame and humiliation to get you to correct your behavior.

Imagine what that would sound like in the middle of a fast food restaurant if the tray could start talking to you when you've got 3 extra large burgers dripping with cheese and extra bacon? "Hey, buddy, you really want to invite a heart attack?" or "Are you really going to feed your kids that much junk?" or something else appropriately (or inappropriately, as the case may be) rude.

Yes, I know there are ways around the smart plate that talks. You could load up with marshmallows or potato chips or something else light and bad for you. That's why the doctor who invented the plate also invented a belt that starts talking when your waistline expands past a certain point. You know, I know I can feel it when my jeans are getting just that little bit more snug. I really don't think that I need a belt that starts talking to me when they reach that point. Of course most of the time that they reach that point it's because I'm bloated and retaining water.

I wonder how the Ukrainian doctor got around that one - weight gain in women because of cyclical changes? There must be a women's version of the belt. At least I hope there would be.

So there you have it. The Smart Plate and the Smart Belt. Annoying and humiliating as all get out, but would they really work? What do you think?