...I was referred to this on BlogThings by a little purpleFaery a week or so ago, and I had to put it up here with my comments. It seems fitting since Alias was on last night and what an interesting episode it was. Some of you who read this will understand, and others will be simply amused.

I just hope the rest of you aren't completely scared away....

You Know You're Addicted to 'Alias' When....

At every fast food joint you go to, you order "the special, no pickles" regardless of the fact that you LIKE pickles. Yup, been there, done that.

You believe wearing a colorful wig and tight clothing can help you get away with anything. Well, it does, doesn't it?

You check the sides of old book pages for Russian characters. No comment.

Every time you see a black Mercedes, it reminds you of Sark. Um, yeah. And I want to firebomb the car too.

You notice every Ford Focus on the road. Yes, but that's usually because they're going about 20 mph below the speed limit right in front of me.

You use the phrase "There are just so many problems with this..." at every possible opportunity. Yes, I do that. It's a great line...

You have suspicions that your spouse may actually be a double. No, but I did get a little concerned when he was interested in how someone poisoned someone's tea in a recent movie.

Your non-Alias obsessed friends (like you have any of those left! Hah!) refuse to talk to you about Italians, prophecies, pickles, wigs, parent/daughter relationships, spies or anything else that might lead to a discussion about Alias. You mean there are people out there who aren't obsessed with Alias?

You actually BUY a blue Ford Focus. (With gold rims, of course) I'm obsessed, not stupid.

You wonder if Sark actually could be Irina's son. Yup, shared that theory and talked it up and down with someone at one point.

You develop opinions and theories about this and other unanswered facets of the show, and spend a large amount of time formulating arguments for both sides of the debate... No, I was too busy debating about the who, how, and why Sark could be Irina's son.

The main question you ask yourself shopping is "Would Sydney wear something like this?" I don't shop anymore...besides I'm not in good enough shape to wear what she wears... yet. Gotta get past that modesty thing too and figure out wigs.

You have seen every episode. Ever. More than 5 times a piece. No, but I'm approaching 2x on a lot of them.

You went to see Daredevil just for Jennifer Garner. What, you think I went to see it for Ben Affleck? Gag. (Actually, I'm a Daredevil fan from my college days)

You flip out when you see Michael Vartan in One Hour Photo married to someone else. No, I flip out when he cheats on his wife in the movie with someone else and cheer at the hotel room scene.

The mention of weddings, rings, or two years just gets you incredibly ticked off. No, not quite there yet, other than I'm ticked they even explored that storyline. That was a little lame.

After getting a bad grade on a paper you tell your friend about your professor saying "legally he's right, ethically he's an ass." Not in school, but I've used that line at work.

If the topic of TV shows comes up, you automatically ask the person "Do you watch Alias?" and if they say they've never heard of it... you immediately end the conversation. I ask, but if they don't watch I generally drop the subject of television because they'll ask about reality shows, and I hate those.

You hear the songs played in the show.. and you instinctively listen for the lines of the characters.. and know precisely when their lines occurred in the song. No, and I don't think anyone else can without a TiVo.

Your history teacher mentions something about the KGB.. and you suddenly think "Irina?" Not applicable because I'm not in school

You have a codename that people actually call you by. Well, yeah. It's WhizGidget.

You think having no first name is a perfectly acceptable thing. It worked for Picasso...

Old Asian men in wheelchairs creep you out. Yes. Especially when they have a dentist's drill in their hands.

You will never view epoxy in the same way again. Heeee

You find yourself trying to find good, compelling reasons to sway your significant other that your next child/pet should be named "Irina" or "Sydney." Um, no. I'm done having kids, and my next dog is probably going to be named 'Fizzgig' (Anyone know *that* reference without googling it?)

You feel aggravated and insulted when you watch the episode of "Frasier" where Victor Garber plays Dr. Crane's British butler. ("Years of agent training and experience, wasted...") Amazingly enough, I missed that episode, but I've seen Titanic several times and think that he just makes mistakes on everything he's involved in.

You feel a strange urge to bite Mike Tyson's ear off every time you think of "Jimmy Kimmel Live." Amazingly, I don't get this one.

Whenever you hear a truly interesting song, you immediately think of how that song would fit into a scene from Alias. For a couple of songs that I'd really like to hear on the show and that would fit, yes.

You find yourself criticizing the REAL CIA based solely on your knowledge of Alias. I've done that for YEARS. I consider it training for watching Alias.

You think Jerry Springer's guests have boring, uncomplicated family/friend relationships and easy, simple-to-fix personal problems. A little therapy goes a long way people.

You become incredibly irritated when people say, "That girl Sydney, doesn't she really report to someone else?" and can tell them exactly how many episodes behind the times they are. That hasn't happened to me yet.

You begin fantasizing about planting listening devices on your significant other's work clothes, just to see if you can find anything exciting/spy-worthy. Riiiight. Like I'm going to tell you that since he reads this.

You know what J/I, S/V, S/W, Sarkney, Slark, slash, and shipper are, and have opinions on all of them. Yeah, and you can't read or write fanfic without knowing that.

Every time you hear the Nokia ringtone, you get excited even though there's no way it could be Vaughn. No, I hate that ringtone because it belonged to the ex-boss and it reminds me of him.

You look for air vents you could crawl into incase of an emergency. Doesn't everyone?

On Monday morning instead of saying "hello" to your friend you just say "Did you SEE VAUGHN'S BOXERS???" No, it's more like "what did you think of Sydney's disguise last night?"

The only people you have on your AIM buddy list are people you've met through Alias Nope.

When you begin to doze off in history class and only snap back to attention when the teacher uses the words "Alliance" or "Covenant." Not applicable, and I think of something totally different when I hear the word 'alliance'

You record every episode, then go out and buy the DVDs as well. Don't have TiVo, hate the VCR, but I've considered buying them all...

You dream about Irina Derevko at least once a week. That's just abnormal.

Sweiss does not sound like a candy bar to you. *grin* Sure doesn't.

You assume that anyone who wears dark eyeliner is evil. Aren't they?

You meet a nice person and immediately become suspicious of their motives. That's normal for me now.

You constantly try to figure out ways to get Jack and Irina back together. I did... not after that premiere episode though.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Alias. Well, that's why they're here in this blog, right?