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And I was thinking about the Indians
And how they say true wisdom only comes from pain

Come a rumbling, humbling feeling
Like things will never, ever be the same

But what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger

Today I'm not strong enough, and I don't love the rain... and my world certainly has changed.

I made the mistake of thinking that I could make a statement somewhere venting about someone that I've been frustrated about for years, and who has lied about me in the past. Unfortunately, I've found, that there isn't freedom of expression and opinion because of that and as a result I was lied about and slandered in a closed community (many people were kind enough to send me the statements in question - either as a kindness to watch my back, or to (exact quote) "put you in your place, you two-faced lying *itch").

From what I hear, that closed community doesn't allow free speech either, because a thread regarding the above statements was posted by someone and went *poof*. That makes some sense - people love making thier own reality.

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You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.

Yup, that says a lot. Says a lot about the people that I considered friends (close and far away), says a lot about a community that I've belonged to and loved for a long long time.

A bunch of people are running. Far, far away. Me? I think I'm gonna fold up the tent.

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People change, everyday
People cry all the time
People change, everyday

People cry... yup. That was me. All day yesterday. But this person hasn't changed.

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Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

Honesty. Yup. Very lonely word once you engage in it. I do happen to know that there are some people who have "honesty issues" - that's a nice way of saying that they're backstabbing liars. Who, by the way, state that I've engaged in tons of private conversations with them to slander all those folks that currently hold a new belief I'm scum.

Want a true confession? I'm a nice person. Really. And despite some comments to the contrary, I *DO* believe that Nice Matters. But even nice people sometimes do not-nice things.

I'm getting the feeling that some folks have put me on an imaginary pedestal because I've been such a nice person, and some others have just been searching for the perfect excuse to knock me off it. Well, I gave you a reason - I actually don't like someone who has always (behind my back, but it got back to me) disliked me. I happened to be in a bad place, on a really bad day, and my brain left the building temporarily and spoke out of turn. I know some others spoke out of turn too, but as far as I know they're not getting the royal treatment that I have over the last couple of days.

Yeah, you get what you bring. I brought a mean comment to the table. I got it back more than hundredfold (topped with lies and misconceptions), with some people turning thier backs on me without even the courtesy of a goodbye.

But think about this, folks - when was the last time *you* were human and said something that was out of character, but was still the truth?

Yeah, thought so. Nobody's perfect....

...least of all me.