Can I cancel it now?
Here's the backstory: a couple of weeks ago we found out that DH's mommy was going to go to DH's youngest sister's house (about 3 hours away) for Thanksgiving. When DH reminded her that she promised to make Thanksgiving dinner in her new roaster for everyone, she backpedaled and said that maybe lil sis could host Thanksgiving. She certainly can't travel because her hubby had just had surgery on his knee.
Now... further backstory. Lil Sis and I used to be roommates in college. That's how I met DH. But something happened along the way, and I'm really clueless as to what it was, but she's no longer speaking to me unless she has to. And most of the time it's a result of me initiating the conversation. I've held out olive branches and gotten whapped with them. I held out a big one last year, and it seemed like we were on the road to repair, but alas, that didn't last. Ah, well, the joys of friends who become family.
So, she issues an invitation (out of mom's pressure, I'm fairly certain) that states she has two guest rooms, for the adults. The kids, well, can sleep in sleeping bags on the wood floors. While it's snowing outside. But we're welcome to try and get a hotel - good luck, though, because it's snow season already. Oh. Kay. I'm not sitting in a car for 3 1/2 hours to go someplace where I'm clearly not welcome. So I start discussing with DH about having Thanksgiving at our house. By ourselves. We pulled it off last year, after all.
So, the shopping begins. Then mom realizes that she promised another sibling that she would watch his puppy while he was away for Thanksgiving. So she's back to hosting Thanksgiving. We're still moving forward with plans to have Thanksgiving at our house. Come to find, not three days ago, that she was counting on having us there to help out. And it's only going to be one sibling, his wife and his kids (DH is the oldest of 7, there are lots of sibs) Oh. Oh. Kay.
I don't like this sibling's kids. One of them is a weapon of mass destruction wrapped up in the body of an 8 year old boy. The other is an extremely selfish princess who is 10. My girls will have an interesting time playing with the princess - she'll pretty much try telling them what to do, while A will push back. But it's the boy that I worry about. He's very rough, and pushes around other kids... regularly.
I've disciplined this kid before for pushing B (who was afraid of the pool and staying very close to the edge in the water) under the water in the pool and holding her there. Oh yeah, I whalloped him for that after pulling her out from under and making sure she was ok. I caught hell for it too. And DH's mom disapproved too until I told her what that boy was doing. She immediately saw mama bear protecting the young. I won't hesitate to get into it with these people again should the boy be overly rough with my girls. DH agrees... he's worried too because the parents don't watch this kid... chances are, tomorrow I'll be the only one keeping an eye on what the kids are doing. That will put me in an unpopular situation, I'm sure.
So, in the spirit of helpfulness, I contacted DH's mom and asked what was needed for dinner... let's see. She's doing the turkey, the rolls, the breads.... DH's brother is insisting on making the stuffing, his wife is bringing her soggy pies, and they're insisting on sweet potatoes. I don't *do* sweet potatoes; I make a very classy restaurant creamy garlic mashed potato. Mom indicates that that is not what they want, so I tell her that they should make it themselves... and that I'll think of something.
Last night, I bought 3 pounds of green beans and am just waiting to see if there's already a vegetable taken care of. If there is, then I'm going to ask what time is dinner and only show up for that. DH agrees that we're only going to stay a short time, and that we're going to have our own Thanksgiving dinner on Friday or Saturday - we'd already bought the turkey, we have stuff for stuffing, I bought supplies for pumpkin and cherry pie, DH got the cranberry sauce... OMG... we forgot the rolls! *makes note to go back to store tonight*
Can't have Thanksgiving without good pull-apart rolls.
I suspect that dinner will not be good at DH's mom's. His words are something to the effect that she's created her own personal hell over this. Sadly, I have to agree. Granted, we've not helped make it any easier, but heck, if DH's sibling wants that much control over Thanksgiving dinner, then why didn't he buy his own turkey and have it at home. I know, DH says 'but there won't be family there'. True. Very true... but he could drive for an hour and a half and join the lil sis who says she and her hubby "will survive" if no one joins *them* for Thanksgiving, instead of 3 hours to mom's house.
In short, I'm preparing for the worst. If I do that, then I won't be disappointed. Well, it will all be over in 48 hours. If I keep that in mind, then maybe I'll make it through without blowing up at someone. And then I won't have to worry about it for another 364 days...
...and that's it until Friday or Saturday when I'll update what really happened while I munch on some leftover unsoggy pumpkin pie...