...Why is it that you can't stop being a mom on Mother's Day? I know, I know... no one ever stops being a mom, but can't you *try* and make the day a little easier to get through?

I think my family phoned it in this time. Honestly.

The first thing I recall about the day was B poking me awake to say 'Happy Mother's Day'. I sleepily said thank you and turned over to go back to sleep. I noted the time as sometime before 8am.

Then I awoke to B whispering right in my face sometime after 8am. She had climbed on the bed onto DH's side and was urgently whispering for me to wake up. She wanted to know what my favorite animal was. 'Tiger' was the first thing to jump into my mind and I told her that. She scrambled away.

There was no sleeping for me after this point. I sat up and started making my way through a few more pages of 'Mists of Avalon'. Sometime around 9 DH, A & B wandered in with a toasted bagel and cream cheese, a sliced apple, and some orange juice. After 10 minutes of card, present, newspaper (that DH wasn't sure he should give me because of depressing headlines), another card, another letter from A telling me she's sorry she couldn't get me a DVR for the satellite, a candle from B, a single kiss... they all went away to leave me to read and eat.

Just realized something... DH didn't give me a card. *raises an eyebrow* I wish I'd thought of that yesterday instead of today. Not that it would have mattered.

I got a coupon book from A - it contained 4 coupons for hugs, kisses, a "I love you" and one for breakfast in bed. Somehow I feel cheated. Aren't I supposed to get the first 3 three things without redeeming a coupon? Aren't my kids supposed to love me without having a coupon for something like that? Or am I completely missing the point?

Except for two more interruptions by A and DH that could have been avoided.

When I finished, DH came back again and took everything away, but he also started sorting his laundry, and B came back in, and so I just got up. It was somewhere closing in on 10am, so I should have gotten up anyway.

My computer was already on and being vultured by A, but I was granted a few minutes permission to use it. What I should have done was decline and sit down and start stitching. But no, I worked on my computer and kept going, ignoring A. Then my Dad called while he was out shopping to ask if I'd called Mom yet.

So I called Mom. And spent a half hour explaining to her that I hadn't forgotten Mother's Day, that her flowers were indeed ordered, that the florist had an issue with the delivery (because they were out of hydrangea) and that she should have it on Tuesday. I also explained that I wasn't going to the gym obsessively. I don't think 4 times a week is obsessive. I also had to assure her that it wasn't because I thought I needed to lose weight or look better to keep DH interested in me. DH is interested in me just fine, and I just want to firm things up.

When I finally got Mom off the phone by starting to talk about work, I went back to see if I could use my computer, and A graciously allowed me a few more minutes. Then DH started making noises about going to the new Trader Joe's - something I had expressed interest in the previous evening. I reminded him to call his Mom, which he promptly did. I herded kids and nagged them to get off the computers and get ready to go. We all pile into the car for the short ride just as the Sharks/Flames game starts up.

Darn it. Hockey game. Now, I LOVE hockey. I LOVE the Sharks. I'm seriously hoping that they win the Cup this year. This is the farthest they've ever come in franchise history. Of course, they're also only a 13 year old franchise. But I digress. We go to Trader Joe's with the radio on. We get there, the puck is dropped, I hear the first play and then decide we need to get in there, shop, and get home so I can watch the rest of the game.

Let's just say this was your standard shopping trip - little kids touching everything, bumping into people without saying excuse me or sorry, and being loud. When I wandered off and left them with DH, thinking I could explore a little on my own, they followed me and misbehaved even more. We finally checked out, got out and in the car, and DH asks if lunch is at Carl's Jr (which is in the same parking lot) - that should have given me a clue that he had no idea what was for lunch.

Shall I mention that as soon as I came in the door, B was complaining that she was thirsty (which she'd been crying about in the store) and needed something to drink. She's 6 1/2, perfectly capable of getting it herself. But no, that was *my* job yesterday.

Lunch ended up being chips, salsa, melted velveeta and beer in front of the Sharks game. I don't know what I expected, but that probably wasn't it. Especially when I was the one who pulled out the chips, and the Velveeta and melted that myself. That's when I started ignoring the pain in my head that I had had most of the weekend. The kids kept picking at each other during the game, so I couldn't even have quiet to watch the game, and when they weren't picking at each other, they were crowding me on the couch to get at the salsa and chips.

Shall I mention that no one bothered to empty the dishwasher and I ended up doing it? DH came to help when he noticed that I was banging things around in the kitchen.

The game ended, the kids somehow migrated upstairs, I did a few things on the computer with ESPN on in the background, and then I started flipping channels. I brought the next hell upon myself. I found a movie on that I thought would be ok for the kids ('Holes') and asked if they would want to watch it, with the rule that they must be absolutely quiet for it. They came down, they sat quietly, DH vetoed the movie about 15 minutes in, so I told the kids to go back upstairs, and before they could DH turned on 'Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring' without saying a word to me. Then he went to work on dinner.

Dinner was two cans of chicken soup. That's right, folks, two cans of chicken soup and nothing else. Have I mentioned that I don't really like chicken soup? Canned chicken soup just brings feelings of illness to me. Homemade chicken soup doesn't have that same issue, but I don't rank it up there with my most favorite soups. I must be one of the only people in the world who doesn't like chicken soup, and DH says he never knew that I didn't like it. Hrm. He must have forgotten the previous dozen times taht I've said I don't like chicken soup, or not noticed that I don't buy chicken soup when I go to the store, or that I never have an opinion when he asks me in the store what I think of a particular chicken based soup (although I enthusiastically nod and give opinions on vegetable and beef soups).

We ate dinner, such as it was, and then continued to watch the movie. The kids misbehaved, I relocated my stitching off of the couch because A kept bouncing the cushions and making me stick my own fingers with the needle, and then they all followed me off the couch and kept me from stretching my legs out while I stitched by sitting in front of me. *sigh* I should have just given up and gone to bed. I had a headache - DH brought me green tea and an Advil, and that helped slightly, but I knew silencing the kids voices would help more. I ended up throwing everyone upstairs an hour later because B wouldn't behave, and then I felt bad about that and went upstairs to ask if everyone understood why they were upstairs - they hadn't listened to my request for absolute quiet.

The movie finally finished, and DH asked if anyone was hungry. A plate was brought with two different types of cheese, some crackers and a cheese sandwich. I shrugged and snacked on some cheese and everyone was asking my permission for anything they wanted off the plate - I thought it was a snack for everyone. I don't see why my permission had to be asked for every single morsel. *shrug* It was already late, and I told the kids to go upstairs, get their jammies and take baths. They come downstairs with their jammies and sit on the couch. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Finally, they have baths, I have my shower after they come back down, and they're already in bed when I'm done. I go and kiss them goodnight and figure I'll finish up downstairs and go to bed myself. I cleaned up a few things in the kitchen, packed up some DVD's to return, and went upstairs to bed. DH came upstairs while I was reading a few more pages in 'Mists of Avalon' to ask me if I had a good Mother's Day.

I had to stop at that one. You mean it wasn't obvious? I was a mother all day long. I never got a break. So I told him, no, not really and I cited a few examples. He said he thought about giving me a break and taking the kids out of the house, or getting rid of the kids and taking me to a movie. I didn't respond to that because I knew that it would never have happened. There's no way he could have kept the kids busy somewhere for the whole day. There's no place he could have dumped the kids for Mother's Day (His Mom? Right. His brother with the newborn baby? Don't think so. His sister whose husband's birthday was yesterday? Nope, not there either). My simple response was this - 'On the flip side, however, what did I really do to deserve a Mother's Day'. That silenced DH, and ended the conversation.

Too little, waaaaay too late anyway.

I suppose, though, that I get what I bring to the party. I bring a person who isn't close to her Mom and only sends flowers and calls once in a while. I don't go visit my parents, and I do that as part of self-preservation because I get too wound up visiting them. This year, DH had to be reminded to call his Mom and it was a short conversation. I should have taken that as a sign as to what to expect myself.

So, if you're wondering... no, I didn't have a particularly good Mother's Day. My break from being a Mom comes when I go to work every day, where other people demand things from me all day. *sigh* I suppose Mother's Day is a misnomer for the most part, but it wasn't for me this year. I was a Mom... all day long. Whether I liked it or not.

I don't know what I expected from it either, but when I hear about Moms who got big bouquets of flowers, being taken out for brunch, or a really great dinner out, or get a day at the spa or even just a coupon book for days off from the kids I just tear up and cry because I know that's not going to happen for me...

...and thinking that just makes me feel like an ungrateful whiny person.